Forget Me Not
by katiesfic
Summary: AU:Dave Strider is 27 and a single parent to his totally-genius 4 year old daughter, Rose. Jade Harley is a single mother and tries her best to take care of her precocious son, John. The two kids become friends at school, and Dave and Jade meet on a play date. There may be more than just friendship for the two parents. (first homestuck fic, please be kind and review! :))
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: == Play date.

* * *

Dave Strider is twenty-seven years old and a single parent to the smartest four year old on Earth. Sometimes he wonders if Rose, his daughter, was really meant for kindergarten or secretly she should be sent off to college early for her psychology degree. Rose, though only four seemed to enjoy playing therapist whenever she got the chance. She did it to the kids at school and even got sent home multiple times for making other children cry. Dave didn't mind however; he thought it was pretty rad to have a smart kid.

Even though it was just the two of them, Dave and Rose learned how to have fun. Dave let Rose play with his turntables (when he was around of course) and they took their cat, Jaspers, to the park every weekend. They watched Disney movies and ate candy while drinking apple juice. They played with plastic swords whenever Dave's brother, Dirk, came over and had battles. They built pillow forts and roasted marshmallows over a small campfire they built in the pit outside of their building. It was a pretty good life, in all honesty.

But there were the nights when Dave missed Her. He hated himself for it, but he did love Her. Maybe he always would. He missed being with Her and lying in bed together. He missed the stupid karaoke bars she would drag him to, and the lame foreign films she would insist on watching.

Sometimes, when the feeling was especially strong for both Dave and Rose, they would go out to get their minds off it. Dave caught Rose a few times in his room, searching old drawers and smelling her mom's old perfume. That was the worst. It was hard to witness and not say anything, because he knew Rose would stone cold deny it.

Dave knew things would get better. At least, he hoped for the best. If it would be the two of them forever, then they would make the most of it. Dave's number one priority was Rose, and nothing would come between that.

"So, who's this John we're meeting today?"

It was a warm Saturday afternoon. Dave and Rose had just left a Starbucks near their apartment and were heading over to a park near Rose's school for a play date. A boy in her class named John had invited her earlier this week and Dave knew she was excited because she kept packing and repacking toys in her purple backpack.

"A friend."

Blunt. Obviously his kid.

"A boy you have a crush on?"

Suddenly Parental Instincts kicked in and Dave wanted to turn around and drag Rose kicking and screaming back home. No one would touch his baby! She was way too cool for some John kid. Of course, if anyone wanted her then they would have to defeat Dave in a basic sword fight. Obviously.

"No," Rose looked up at her dad with a frown. "I'm only four, calm down."

He had to chuckle at that. She may be four, but she acted twenty-four. Sometimes he wondered how he ended up with such a smart kid, but then that thought would hurt his pride so he stopped thinking it.

"How come you've never mentioned him before? Am I not cool enough to talk to about your friends?"

"Obviously."

Ok that was a sick burn. Okay maybe just down right mean. Goddamn.

"Well then…" he stared ahead, trying to think of a good comeback. When he couldn't, he left well enough alone.

They walked hand-in-hand, blocks away from their apartment towards Rose's school. They had been to the park there multiple times when school was over, and it was pretty small. A set of swings, a teeter-totter, slides and a jungle gym. Basic park stuff.

"Who's bringing your friend?" Dave asked, curious if he'd meet his parents or a nanny or something. Nanny's could be the worst, especially if they were old and talkative.

"His mom, probably," Rose shrugged her small shoulders. "He doesn't have a dad as far as I know."

That surprised Dave. He knew the school Rose went to secretly looked down upon single parents, but it was the closest one to their house so he ignored it. He wondered absently if they gave John's mom a hard time during interviews like they did him.

"Well, we're not gonna go mentionin' that out of the blue, right?" Dave knew his daughter was smart, but her bluntness could get her into trouble one day.

"Obviously."

God her teenage years are going to be a pain.

They finished the rest of the walk in companionable silence. Once there, Dave noticed that the park was deserted except for a small black haired boy playing in the sand, and a black haired woman sitting on a wooden bench watching him.

"Go ahead," Dave let go of Rose's hand and gave her a gentle pat on the back. "I'm going to go introduce myself to John's mom."

Rose nodded and jogged off towards her friend. Dave headed in the direction of the dark haired woman. As he approached and her face came into view, he almost stopped.

_Whoa._

She was stunning. And not in the 'looks good and knows it, therefore acts too self-important' way or the 'make up makes everything better way' but in the 'wow she's like a model but she dresses like a mom who has no time and has a really cute smile' way.

"Hey you must be John's mom," Dave said as he sat down beside her on the bench. "I'm Dave, Rose's dad."

The woman turned to him and smiled, her face lighting up as she did so. "I'm Jade. It's so nice to meet you!"

Bubbly. Nice.

Now came the hard part. Being married was so much easier because he never had to do much small talk. _She_ would do it for him while he got a beer and sat on someone's couch. But now _she_ was gone and he was left beer-less and couch-less and there was no safety net to fall back on like a bathroom or sports he never really cared about. He was faced head-on with small talk with a woman he had never met before and found totally attractive but couldn't flirt with because his daughter was right there and that was inappropriate. Apparently.

"John has been so excited the past few days," Jade began with a smile as the two sat back and watched their children play in the sand. "He wanted to invite Rose over to our house, but I wasn't sure how comfortable that would make you so we settled here."

"Oh here's good," Dave shrugged. "Rose has been looking forward to this too. She won't admit it, cause she's too damn stubborn but I can see she really likes John."

Just as he said that, Rose pulled a notebook out of her backpack as well as a pen. "Oh no," Dave muttered, knowing the psychoanalysis was about to begin. That poor kid probably had about five minutes before he came crying about all his repressed feelings that he wasn't aware of until now.

"Is she doing that thing where she pretends to be a therapist?" Jade asks, smiling as she watches the two talk.

Dave gaped at her. Wasn't she worried? A little confused or even angry?

"Uh-yeah. I can stop her if it makes you uncomfortable; she's really just too curious for her own good."

Jade smiled warmly at him. "It's okay! I think it's very interesting, actually. She's very smart."

"Y-yeah," Dave nodded.

_Stop stuttering man, you sound like an idiot—and Strider's _do not_ sound like idiots!_

"I packed a picnic, by the way," Jade said absently. "I figured if they played long enough they would get tired and hungry, and John hates walking home when he's hungry," she let out a soft giggle that sounded faintly reminiscent.

"That's so nice—thank you," when was the last time they had a real home cooked meal? Dave normally threw chicken nuggets in the oven and bought juice in bulk.

"No problem," she smiled again, her green eyes reflecting off the sun.

Shit she was beautiful. And kind. And a _single_ mother. As far as he knew she was single, anyway. She seemed genuinely happy to be out with her kid, while other parents Dave had gotten to know were so tired from running after their kids that they hardly left the house. But Jade…Jade seemed so happy just cause her kid was happy, and _she liked Rose._

Of course she would though, Rose was his kid.

Although, he might have to retract that statement because lots of mothers at her school didn't like Rose because she made their kids cry a lot. It wasn't her fault that those kids were weak and had a vast inability to understand their own feelings.

"MOM," John called from the other side of the park. "MOM AM I A LESBIAN? ROSE SAYS LESBIANS ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE GIRLS—OH WAIT THAT'S GIRLS WHO LIKE GIRLS, NEVERMIND."

Dave and Jade let out a snort each and looked at each other. "He's funny," Dave grinned.

"She's smart! Though you already know that," Jade giggled again.

"MOM I LIKE EVERYBODY DOES THAT MAKE ME GAY SINCE I LIKE BOYS?"

"You can like whoever you want!" Jade called back. "You don't need to put a label on it!"

"Four year olds realizing their sexuality," Dave shook his head and put a hand to his face. "Shouldn't they be playing power rangers or cops and robbers or some shit?"

Jade looked at him curiously. "What's a Power Ranger?"

Dave gaped at her. "Are you serious? You're not serious, right?"

Jade shook her head. "No really, what is it?"

"_The shit," _Dave said bluntly. "Power Rangers are the bomb, man. Like real childhood nostalgia right now. So sick."

Jade let out another soft giggle. "I still don't quite understand but okay!"

"They were…like they were these kids dressed up in hella rad suits and they fought monsters and the red one was the _best_ okay?"

"Okay," Jade nodded, grinning.

A couple of hours passed and Dave and Jade got more acquainted, telling stories of how they grew up and their different experiences growing up. When they moved to New York and why. What schools they went to after high school and what for. Life as a single parent.

Dave liked her. She understood, which was the best part. Being a single parent was hard especially with a small child. Work was difficult, finding a babysitter was a horrible experience and there was barely enough time for yourself.

"I usually just get my brother to watch Rose," Dave shrugged. "They like each other and she has fun analyzing him."

Jade giggled. "My cousin watches John, but he mostly texts his boyfriend whenever he's over. He's big on adventure though, so John gets to go out and do stuff we wouldn't normally do."

"I once had this babysitter who sat on the couch all night and let Rose run around outside the building by herself," Dave shook his head. "This is why I'm still single, aha."

Jade gasped at him. "That's so irresponsible! She could have been hurt!"

Dave nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know. Imagine my reaction when I come home at two o'clock in the morning and Rose is outside with the cat."

"That's horrible," Jade shook her head in disbelief. "Some people I swear I would never let near John."

"Yeah I know exactly what you mean," Dave sighed. "I only ask my brother or closest friends to watch Rose on the odd occasion when I need them too. I've learned not to trust teenage kids anymore."

Jade nodded in agreement. "I'm exactly the same. I mean I have faith that not all teenagers are like that, but when it comes to John he's just too important."

Before Dave could reply, John and Rose came running up, caked in sand and small bruises and scratches from falling on the pavement or climbing the metal jungle gym.

"Mom we're hungry," John complained. "Can we eat now?"

"Sure hon, wanna help me set up the blanket?" Jade smiled down at her son before reaching beside her and picking up a large picnic basket.

"We can all help!" John grinned widely, his buckteeth that matched his mothers poking out.

The foursome headed over to a grassy field off to the side of the park. Each person took a corner of the checkered blanket and they all brought it down together. Jade laid out food and Dave passed out packs of apple juice he stuffed in his backpack. They all took seats and chowed down on the delicious sandwiches that Jade had prepared.

"These are really good Mrs. Harley!" Rose smiled politely at John's mom. "Thank you very much."

"Yeah thank you," Dave gave a small grin, wiping mustard off of Rose's cheek.

"No problem!" Jade grinned. "It was my pleasure, honestly."

"Thanks for the apple juice, Mr. Strider!" John grinned widely at Dave. "It's my favorite!"

"No problem little man, me too," Dave gave a fist-bump to John.

"It's all we drink," Rose rolled her eyes. "Dad doesn't buy anything else."

"Well if you _told_ me what you wanted when we went grocery shopping instead of playing Sherlock, _maybe_ you would get what you want," Dave said, sticking his tongue out at Rose.

She responded in the like.

Hours passed some more, and the sun started to set. The kids grew tired and soon both were asking to go home. After packing up, Dave and Rose turned towards Jade and John and said their goodbyes.

"Thanks again," Dave smiled at Jade. "I'll have to have you guys over sometime for dinner to pay you back."

"Since when can _you_ cook?" Rose looked up at her father in skepticism.

"There's this wonderful invention called take-out you know," Dave gently elbowed Rose's head.

Jade laughed. "I'd love that, how bout you John?"

"Duh. Ps: I like Chinese the best," John and Dave fist-bumped again. Dave knew this kid was cool.

"See you soon," Dave waved.

"Wait—take my number," Jade pulled out a pad of paper and a pen she kept in her picnic basket (for grocery ideas and the like). "Here, call me when you want to get dinner."

Dave took the paper and smiled again. "Yeah—I will. Definitely."

Jade and John waved and walked off towards the opposite direction of Dave and Rose's apartment. The blonde's headed over towards their apartment, hand-in-hand.

"Soooo," Rose grinned up at her dad slyly. "You took her number pretty fast. Almost desperately. So much for being cool, huh dad?"

Dave looked down at his daughter in surprise. "I thought four-year-olds liked Barbie's, why are you so interested in my love life?"

"_I_ think she's nice," Rose continued as if Dave had never spoken. "And you seem like you really _liked_ her. You need to get back in the game, old man."

"Love ain't a game, kid," Dave shrugged. "And if I'm gonna be with someone, that's for the long run. Are you sure you're ready for something like that?"

"Are you sure you are?"

"Y'know kid, you're too smart for your own good."


	2. Family Dinner pt 1

Chapter Two: Family Dinner Pt1

Your name is Dave Strider and you are busy trying to convince yourself to call a woman so far out of your league you can't even see the goddamn ball park. You tend to pace in situations that make you anxious, which is exactly what you're doing right now. Your Sam Browne belt bounces lightly with each movement, your gun holster slapping against your right thigh with every step. Detective Pyrope and Officer Captor watch you mentally war with yourself, snickering away amongst themselves.

"Daaaaave! Just call her! God it is not that big of a deal," Terezi (whom you would call your best friend if you really cared about that sort of thing) giggles at you from her perch on your desk.

"I got her number _two weeks ago!_ It's a bit late to just call and ask her out without sounding like a desperate douchebag." You run your hands through your hair and try to think of a good excuse to use when you actually do call her. If you call her. Maybe. Eventually.

"I'm sure she'll understand you have a kid and you're a busy single parent," Terezi shrugs. "She's the same way, right?"

"Yeah but-."

"Juth thut up and call her you pretenthiouth douche!" Officer Captor shakes his head at you, his lisp getting worse as his temperament rose.

"How can you both be in long-term relationships?" you whirl on them, giving them hard stares through your shades. "You're both assholes! It's not fair oh my god."

"We're in relationships because we aren't scared to ask someone out," Terezi gives you a look and you ignore it. "I understand it's been awhile Dave—but honestly she wants you to call her. Pick up a fucking phone."

"Bet you ten buckth he won't," Sollux grins and he and Terezi shake hands.

"Assholes," you mutter under your breath as you continue to pace. "Assholes all of you."

You are no longer Dave Strider because you are too busy being Jade Harley. You are currently walking towards your cute little flower shop with your best friend Karkat Vantas. Well, you suppose he's your best friend. He's kind of an asshole, but at least he's there for you.

"Has he called yet?" Karkat asks as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips.

You hesitate, not wanting to admit that no; Dave had not called you since you'd seen him almost two weeks ago. The thought kind of brought you down. "…He's a single dad! He's busy. _I'm_ busy."

"So no then?"

You sigh in defeat. "No."

Karkat rolls his eyes and gives you a sideways look. "Jade, we've been friends for how long now? For-fucking-ever is how fucking long we've been friends for," Karkat sighs deeply before continuing. "And I _know_ you're ready to move on. I know it. And what happened to John's dad…it's not your fault, ok? And it's not a bad thing to move on."

"Yeah…but…" your voice drops and you feel tears welling in your eyes. "What will John think? Me being with somebody that isn't his dad…that's a hard thing to accept."

"What do you want Jade? Do you want to get into a relationship or be alone forever because you let your four year old asshole son control your life?"

"He's not an asshole!" you gasp at Karkat and punch his upper bicep. "That's you!"

Karkat rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes we all know that now stop avoiding the fucking question."

You sigh and sip your coffee, thinking of an answer. "I don't know," you finally admit. "I don't want to be alone forever…but he hasn't even call-."

Your cellphone ringing suddenly interrupts you. You pull it out of your back pocket of your jeans and look at the caller id. You do not know the number and hesitate hitting the answer button. But you do it anyway because maybe it's Rose's Hot Dad on the phone.

"Hello?" you say sharing a look with Karkat.

"Hey! This is Jade right? John's mom?"

You almost sigh out in relief. Almost. "Yes, Dave, right?"

He chuckles awkwardly on the other end. "Glad you didn't forget me."

"You seem kind of hard to forget," you joke, and then slap your forehead when you realize how flirty you are coming off. Goddamnshitgoddamn.

Dave is silent for a moment and you think you might have blew because obviously he isn't into you and your flirting techniques are fucking shit anyway. "Well thank you, I think…" he answers finally and you start hitting Karkat on the shoulder to relieve your anxieties and stupidity. "Anyway, I was calling cause Easter is coming up this weekend and if you and John aren't too busy…do you wanna come over for dinner? I wanted to pay you back for the great lunch you made at the park."

"_Jade stop fucking hitting me—"_

"Yeah!" you answer a little too quickly. "That would be lovely! Thank you."

"No problem," he sounds surprised and you hit Karkat again. "I'll text you the details later all right? My shift is starting right now so I have to go."

"Yeah that's fine!" you smile despite the fact that he can't see it. "I'll talk to you later!"

"Later, Jade."

"Bye!"

You hang up and stare at your phone, a grin spreading across your cheeks. "He called!"

"I'm going to have so many bruises tomorrow Terezi is going to think I might of actually grown some balls and gotten into a fight," Karkat grumbles and glares at you. "I take back all my advice. If you dating this guy means you're going to abuse me then I want you to remain single for the rest of your miserable fucking life."

You hug him anyway, giggling into his shoulder. "Karkat you're such an asshole!"

"Jesus are you even Jade Harley? Cause you sound a lot like a psychopath—like even more crazy than normal Jade Harley," Karkat awkwardly pats your back. Physical affection wasn't really his thing unless it was with Terezi. Even then she had to goad him into it plenty of times.

"Ohhh shuddap!" You hand him your coffee and grab the lanyard hanging out of your jeans pocket. You pick out the colored key that unlocks your flower shop and shove it into the lock. When the door opens you flick on the lights and begin your rounds of plant watering.

"I still don't understand why you decided to open up a flower shop instead of becoming an astrophysicist like you went to school for," Karkat says as he takes a seat atop the stool behind the cash register.

"I got pregnant, remember? I had to settle down somewhere to focus on John," you say as you prance around your shop, checking the life of your plants and making sure they were getting enough sunlight.

"John, John, John, John…When am I ever going to hear about you doing something for yourself?"

"Ha! Just wait until Terezi gets pregnant and _then_ see when your life stops being your own!"

Your name is Dave Strider and _holy fucking shit_. Did she flirt with you? It sounded a lot like she was cutely flirting with you. _Why didn't you flirt back you sack of shit?_

"So…" Terezi raises her eyebrows at you. "It went well?"

You look over at Terezi and give her a smirk, "Sollux owes you ten bucks my friend."

You hear Terezi cackle loudly as you walk away to start your shift. You have patrolling duties today and you haven't even had your morning coffee.

You enter your favorite Starbucks and get in line behind a tall man in a business suit and look over to your left at the food available.

"Hey Dave!" a chipper voice calls to you and you raise your hand politely to Feferi, one of your favorite baristas here. "Your usual Venti Pike?"

You nod. "You should get a raise, Fef."

She giggles and grabs a venti-sized cup. "Tell that to my boss."

"Where is the old guy anyway?" you look around for the familiar store manager, but don't see him anywhere. "On vacation again?"

Feferi nods. "Like always," she rolls her eyes and then grins. "But that means I'm in charge so I'm not complaining!"

"Yeah but we are," Aradia, another barista winks at Feferi. "Terrible choice he made leaving you in charge."

Feferi pouts at her. "Shush!"

Feferi hands you the cup, a lid already on it because she knows you take it black. "On the house Officer Strider! Have a good day!"

"Aw thanks Feferi, but here," you hand her a fiver and give her your usual small smile. "Good luck on your exams this week."

"Thanks!" she grins and waves as you walk away.

You walk back to your squad car and climb in. You start the car and put in one of your mixes and bob your head as you drive around New York City.

"Good morning Jade."

Your name is Jade Harley and you stop cutting flowers to look up and greet your number one customer. His name is Eridan Ampora and he has probably been paying your bills for the past three years. He comes in a few times every week and you're starting to wonder if he likes the flowers or just wants something. He never asks for a card to give them as a present, and you're pretty sure he just throws them out after buying them—but you appreciate the fact that he buys your flowers.

"Morning Eridan," you smile at him. "Come for another bouquet?"

"Yeah, I was hoping you could recommend some for me? I want to impress this girl but I'm not the flower expert here so…" he looks around and grazes his fingers against a few pedals.

"Well what is she like?" you ask as you brush dirt and flower stem bits from your apron.

"She's very bubbly," he says with a small grin. "And kind and very beautiful," with every word he says he takes a step towards you. "And she has the most beautiful green eyes."

The hair on the back of your neck stands up. You like Eridan—he is a real nice guy, but he has been flirting with you even when you were still married. He's persistent and a rich socialite who assumes he can always get what he wants. You know he's trying to flirt with you, but you aren't attracted to him. He's young and snooty and you don't think he would be a good role model for John. Also the purple streak in his hair is just stupid.

"Umm…" you start to walk away from him, a little more quickly than socially acceptable. "I think I can whip something up. Do you want to stay here while I put it together or come back in a little while?"

"I'll stay," he smirks at you. "I like watching you arrange them. You're so good at what you do Jade."

You give him a friendly smile and start picking out flowers. Lilacs and pink roses and white forsythia, a few alstroemeria's, a couple stems of baptisia's, and you finished it with some dogwoods. You arrange them in a nice bouquet, cutting the thorns off the roses and trimming some of the leaves. You cut all of them to the same length and wrap them up in the proper packaging. You add a cute ribbon and hand it to Eridan.

"Finished! That'll be 35 dollars please," you smile at him as he hands you the money.

"Thanks Jade, I appreciate it," he smirks at you again and waves as he leaves. "I'll see you later."

"Have a nice day!" you chime as he leaves.

You sigh and wish Karkat hadn't left before Eridan got here. You would of felt safer if he was still here. Eridan gave you the creeps and you know he hasn't done anything to make you feel especially unsafe—but your gut told you otherwise.

You pull out your phone and text Karkat. He usually got mad whenever you told him that Eridan came to the shop and would scream at you via text to pepper spray him every time he entered your shop.

JADE: Eridan came over again :$

KARKAT: DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO PEPPER SPRAY THAT CREEPY MOTHER FUCKER? DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE WORK RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I WILL, DON'T FUCKING TEST ME HARLEY. I WILL MURDER HIS STALKER ASS.

JADE: No it's okay! I'll deal with him if he gets worse. You know I'm a lot stronger than you think! :B

KARKAT: YEAH BUT YOU'RE TOO FUCKING NICE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. STOP GIVING HIM FLOWERS. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR NICE FLOWERS. HES A CREEPY PRICK. TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF.

JADE: I would but…I get a lot of money when he comes in. I tend to charge him more than others because he doesn't pay attention to prices.

KARKAT: GOOD. HE'S A FUCKING CREEP. CHARGE HIM 100X MORE NEXT TIME HE STALKS YOU.

JADE: I'll keep that in mind :B

KARKAT: KEEP ME POSTED. I KEEP A BAT IN MY OFFICE FOR THIS PARTICULAR REASON.

JADE: no you keep a bat in your office because you tried baseball once and then gave it up after buying a $200 bat.

KARKAT: YOUR DETAILS MEAN NOTHING TO ME.

JADE: do you still want to have lunch today?

KARKAT: YEAH LETS GO TO THE OLIVE GARDEN.

JADE: only if you pay :B!

KARKAT: SAYS THE ONE WITH THE RICH STALKER.

You put down your phone, giggling to yourself.

You are now Dave Strider and your shift is over and you are driving to your daughter's school to pick her up. The school day was over and so is your workday. You appreciate the fact that your boss understands the whole Single Parent Thing and allows you to work whenever it's convenient to your parenting. Haha just kidding he's a total dick and normally Dirk has to pick up Rose from school because you always work until 8 or 11 o'clock at night.

You park in front of Rose's elementary school and exit your car. You walk towards the front door of the kindergarten classroom and enter it. You're surprised to find Jade there, seeing as you haven't seen her in person in two weeks. She hasn't noticed you yet and you walk over to her.

"Hey," you murmur to her. You're there a couple minutes early and you try to be quiet as not to disturb the mass coloring that's happening in the class.

She turns and her eyes widen. "Hey!" she smiles widely at you. "I don't think I've actually seen you here before. I was starting to wonder if you rented Rose for the day."

You grin at her. "Yeah she upped her pay for today too. I still got to see you so the money's worth it."

Holy shit you just flirted. When was the last time you flirted with a woman? Holy shit when was the last time you were so smooth about it? Today's been a good day.

_And she was blushing._

"Well, I hope she's not _too_ expensive or else we might not be able to have that dinner this weekend," she grins and your heart races a little.

"Don't worry, I'll put it on my tab."

She giggles and you grin again. You aren't sure if you ever _stopped_ grinning. It's a good feeling.

"I'm looking forward to it," she says with a smile that lights up her whole face. "I'm sure John will be excited. We don't do much on Easter anymore."

"We don't either," you shrug.

"Mom! Mr. Strider!" John ran over then, grinning from ear to ear. Rose followed slowly behind, eyeing you with her therapist look.

"Hey little man," you stretch out your arm and bump fists with John.

"Why are you here? You're never here," Rose looks up at you.

"Jeez, mad I ain't Uncle Dirk?" you raise your eyebrows at her. "I thought you would be _happy_ to see me when it's still bright outside."

Rose grins at you. "Just get my coat old man."

You feign shock. "I am _not_ old. Twenty seven is _not_ old."

"You're twenty seven?" an older woman wearing a too-small leopard print dress walks over to you, a coy smile on her face. "My, my, if only there were men who looked like you when _I _was twenty seven."

"My dad isn't interested in older women," Rose pipes up from beside you, staring down the lady coolly.

The woman looks down at Rose and smiles, although it's stretched and fake and her teeth are a very dark yellow from obvious multitudes of cigarettes. "Oh aren't you so sweet, looking out for you dad like that! Although I think that isn't quite necessary," she looks at you and winks.

Ew.

"So what time do you want us over this weekend?" Jade cuts in, putting a hand on your arm. "Do you want me to bring anything? Pie? Candy?"

"Nah, just yourselves," you look back at her and grin again. "And how about we make it 5ish, so the kids have time to play?"

She smiles back, her teeth bright and straight. "Perfect."

"Oh you're John's mother right?" the woman, whom you assumed had left by now but was still hanging around glaring at Jade. "I met your _husband_ once or twice at the park nearby. Lovely man. How is he doing these days?"

Jade loses her smile and her grip on your arm tightens. You're pretty sure she does it out of reflex because she looks like she's about to cry.

"He died a couple years ago," Jade says quietly. "So I can't really say if he's doing well or not."

Oh shit.

"Oh wow, Jade I'm so sorry," you say to her, feeling like a complete asshole even though none of that was your fault.

"Horrible loss," the woman backs off a little. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thank you," she says it to you, her eyes wide and honest, and you smile faintly at her.

"Are you hungry?" you ask John. He nods with a wide bucktoothed grin. "Then let's go out to eat—the four of us."

Jade stares at you, and you nudge your head toward the door. You walk out together, John in her arms, Rose in yours. The rude woman watches you go, a sour expression on her face.

"Thanks for that ladies," you ruffle Rose's hair and grin at Jade. "I've never been so uncomfortable in my life."

"She was scary looking," John says, shivering dramatically.

"And _rude_," Rose snaps.

"Really? You don't think she would make a great mom?" you nudge Rose with your arm and grin when she pretends to vomit.

"I think Mrs. Harley makes a great mom!" Rose says, smiling at Jade.

"Yeah, that other lady wasn't my type anyway," you turn to look at Jade and a small smile and blush grace her face.

"I want McDonalds!" John hollers from Jade's arms. "I'm happy so I should have a happy meal!"

"Oh yeah? Why're you so happy little man?" you say as you look at him.

"Because we're all together and it's the most fun like this!"

Oh wow. You weren't expecting _that._

"Yeah, I agree," Rose says from your arms. You stare at her.

_You weren't expecting that either._

You walk to McDonalds, laughing and joking with Rose, John and Jade. For the first time in years you actually felt like you were a family. It was the best feeling you've ever had. And Rose was happy. Rose was _genuinely_ happy. That was the most important thing to you.

***Saturday that week***

"Hey! Rosey! Are you dressed?" you call from the kitchen, searching for the Golden Forest take out menu. "They'll be here soon!"

"Yeah, I'm ready," Rose walks in, wearing a bright yellow dress that she got for Christmas last year from her Aunt Roxy. "How do I look?"

"Absolutely beautiful," you grin at her and lift her onto a breakfast barstool. "you excited for tonight?"

She nods with a smile. "Are you?"

"I'm looking forward to it, yeah," you try to play it off cool, but your heart is beating pretty face and you might have tried on at least seven different outfits before deciding on the first one you tried. Maybe.

Rose gives you a look before shaking her head. "Yeah, okay dad."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing!" she chimes innocently and slides off the stool, skipping over to the couch.

The doorbell rings and you take a deep breath before walking over to it. You unlock the door and open it up, revealing Jade in a beautiful green summer dress and John wearing jeans and a Ghostbusters tee.

"Happy Easter!" John beams up at you, and pounds your fist with his own.

"Hey, happy Easter," Jade smiles at you, holding up an apple pie. "You said not to bring anything, but I just didn't feel right showing up without anything!"

"Wow thanks, that's so nice of you," you take the pie from her and give her a quick smile. "Come on it, Rosey's watching TV if you want to join her John."

"Okay!" John runs off to the couch that Rose was occupying, and you hear them murmuring to each other.

"Your apartment is lovely," Jade says as she looks around. "You keep it so clean!"

"Yeah well you should see the room where we hid everything today to make you think that—oh shit wait what room."

She giggles at your lame joke and takes a seat at the breakfast bar. "John was so excited for tonight," she says with a small smile. "He talks about how 'cool' you are constantly. I think he looks up to you."

Something swells in you. Maybe pride? Or even happiness. You don't know, but you are suddenly filled with too many emotions to place. You really like John, you do, and you're very happy that he likes you too.

"Ahh, I'm not _that_ cool," you shrug and she giggles again.

"Mr. Strider!" John runs up, Rose close behind.

"Just call me Dave little man," you say and his grin widens.

"Dave! Why do you always wear your shades even when you're inside?" John looks up at you expectantly.

"Uh…how do I explain this?" you scratch the back of your head while you think of an answer that isn't totally lame. "My older Bro gave me these shades when I was born. He raised me, and it was just our thing—wearing shades inside. I don't really know how to explain it without sounding really lame, but that's why."

"Don't worry, you're already lame," Rose says to you, a small grin on her face.

You put a hand to your chest. "Why must my daughter be so _cruel?_"

"I like your shades Dave! They are cool, don't worry!"

"Hey thanks little man."

Jade watches you interact with the kids, a smile growing on her face. You look over at her, and share a smile. You can guess she's thinking what you're thinking:

Tonight's a good night.

"Okay let's look over these menus!" Jade says, sliding the menus you left on the counter towards her.

"I want chicken fried rice!" John says.

"I want shrimp!" Rose chimes in.

"Okay let's start making a list," you say as you go on a hunt for a pen and some paper.

About an hour later the food had arrived and you were all sitting around the kitchen table passing around cartons of Chinese food. John and Rose played around with chopsticks and Jade poured apple juice. You can't remember the last time you had a family dinner, and you can't believe what you've been missing out on the past few years.

"This is soooo good!" John exclaims, bits of rice falling out of his full mouth.

Rose hands him a napkin silently, and he gives her a confused look.

"Thank you again for tonight," Jade says to you. "It's been lovely."

"Yeah! Thanks!" more food falls from John's mouth.

"No problem," you smile at them. "It's our pleasure."

There's a knock at your door that ceases dinner conversation. You're surprised, not expecting anyone to come over tonight. You excuse yourself and walk over to the door. You open it, not bothering with the peephole, relying on your police training if anything happens.

"Daaaaavey! How are youuuu!"

Oh god.

Oh no. Oh god. Oh no not tonight. Please _not tonight._

"Hey baby bro, happy Easter."

Oh god dammit no.


	3. family dinner pt 2

FMN3

Chapter three: Family Dinner pt 2.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and tonight is one of the rare nights in which you aren't completely hateful and full of spite. You are curled on your couch, your girlfriend Terezi Pyrope is snuggled up with you and there's a huge bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs from Costco wedged between you. You are watching some shitty rom-com movie that you are heavily invested in, ignoring the snide comments Terezi makes whenever something cheesy happens. You might not have the same taste in a lot of things, but you have to give her credit for putting up with a lot of your melodramatic bullshit.

"This movie sucks," she mumbles into your chest. "Let's go to bed."

"Shh," you pat her face absently, and stare at John Cusack's glorious face. "The best part is coming up."

"Ugghhhhh," Terezi groans, surely rolling her eyes. "Karkat—_I want to go to bed._"

"Then go!" you start to get annoyed.

She moves her position and sits upright, staring at you in disbelief. "Are you actually _that_ dense?" she shakes her ginger head and sighs. "Fine. I'm gone. Bye."

You turn your head to look at her, and hit the pause button on your remote a little too roughly than necessary. "Why are you so pissed off? I thought we were having a good time?"

She gives you a look that screams 'you are a huge fucking idiot' and your eyebrows knit together. "We could have head an even _better_ time but you're more in love with John Cusack than your own girlfriend!" she stands from the couch and stomps over to your bedroom.

"Wait—Terezi! I'm sorry! I don't love John Cusack more than you—he's just a super great actor and I just love him—fuck I mean his acting I _love his acting!_"

_Slam._

Well. Fuck.

You are too busy being Karkat, Jade, Dave or any of the other assholes you think you know are about to appear so you end up being Feferi Peixes.

You are out having a very lovely date with your super cute boyfriend Sollux Captor, and you could very honestly say you are the happiest girl in the world right now. Neither of you celebrated Easter—or were even religious for that matter, but it was a holiday you both took off work for to spend time together. Sollux had surprised you with dinner at the first restaurant he ever took you to, your favorite pizzeria on 2nd street. After that you went to the movies together and saw a terribly corny film that you ended up making out through the whole movie because anything was better than the plot. Now you are holding hands and walking through the streets of New York City, smiling and laughing together.

"This has been the best date _ever!_" you grin up at Sollux and kiss his cheek. "Thank you baby!"

"Anything for you," he winks at you and you share a quick kiss.

"So…my place or yours?" you wink at him.

"Whichever's closer," you kiss again, and a retching noise breaks you apart.

You both turn to the left where you heard the noise come from. There sits Eridan Ampora, your childhood friend sitting on a park bench, a bottle of something strong wrapped in a paper bag is in his hands.

"Eridan?" you call to him. "Are you alright?"

He looks at you miserably. "Oh don't mind _me_ enjoy your gross happy relationship and leave us nice guys here in the ditch."

"Okay if you say so," Sollux shrugs and tries to lead you away.

"Sollux! We can't just leave him here! He'll be murdered!" you protest, staring at him in disbelief.

"Yeah. Your point?" Sollux stares at you with a raised brow.

"You're such an ass!" you frown at him and walk over to Eridan. "Er, we're gonna get you a cab okay? We'll get you home safe."

"_No!_" he snarls, slapping away your outstretched hand. "No! I'm staying here! I'm busy bonding with my _new_ best friend, Mr. Tequila."

"You're drinking Tequila straight?" Sollux says from behind you, sounding impressed.

"Fuckin' right!" Eridan snaps at him. "You got a problem with that?"

"Well considering I'm a cop I could arrest you for public Douchebaggery—I mean intoxication."

You throw a look over your shoulder at him, and he tries to hide his smirk. Turning back to Eridan, you begin speaking more gently. "Er, what's wrong? Will you please tell me why you're so upset?"

He looks at you for a moment, and then throws his head into his hands dramatically. "I'm in _love_, Fef! Love I tell ya! And the dame don't even know I exist!"

"Really?" you're not that surprised. Eridan falls in love every time he steps foot outside. "With whom?"

"Jade!" he wails. "Jade Harley! Beautiful Jade Harley who smells like flowers and sunshine! Glorious Jade Harley…"

You and Sollux look at each other. "Who's that?" he asks.

"She's the flower lady I go to every chance I get!"

"Since when do you buy flowers?" your eyebrows knit together as you watch him cradle his bottle.

"Since I first saw _her!_" he blubbers, swigging from his bottle. "I'll go to her every day if I have to! Oh she's so beautiful Fef…So, so beautiful!"

"Okay so lover boy has another obsession, nothing new," Sollux wraps an arm around your waist. "Let's go, Fef, this isn't something we should concern ourselves with."

"But…" you stare at Eridan in dismay. "We can't just _leave_ him…"

"Just go!" Eridan makes a shooing gesture at you. "Go! You're not Jade, so I want nothing to do with ya! Leave me to my misery!"

"Okay," Sollux begins walking away and you follow suit.

"Bye Er!" you call over your shoulder. "Feel better!"

"Oh piss off!"

You are no longer any of those other assholes and are now Roxy Lalonde. You are walking with your cousin and his boyfriend towards your younger cousins apartment building. Apparently Easter was a time of family or some shit? You don't know you just want to see Rose. And maybe eat whatever's in Dave's fridge.

You are not surprised that Dirk, your super-duper gay cousin hacked into the security system of Dave's building so you could go in and manage to surprise him. Dirk's boyfriend, Jake, looks a little surprised but laughs it off and grabs Dirks hand as you walk down the hall.

Adorable gay babies.

The three of you enter the elevator and ride up to a small study apartment, which Dave owns. You grin to yourself, knowing that Dave hates surprises and tonight is _definitely_ going to be a surprise.

"I do hope he doesn't have company," Jake says with a grimace. "I would feel just terrible to interrupt."

"Don't worry bro, Dave never does anything," Dirk shrugs. "At least, not without telling me first."

"Hey hey hey!" you interject. "He tells _me_ more things than you!"

You see Dirk roll his eyes from behind his shades, and stick your tongue out at him. "Whatever," he mutters and you and Jake share a grin.

The elevator dings and you exit it, walking towards the door directly in front of the elevator doors. You ring the doorbell excitedly and wait for the door to open.

Dave opens the door and stares at the three of you with his mouth agape.

"Daaaaavey! How are youuuu!" you sing and throw your arms around him.

"Hey baby bro, happy Easter," Dirk pats Dave on the shoulder before walking past him into the apartment.

"Happy Easter pal!" Jake follows Dirk's suit and pats Dave on the shoulder as well. "Lovely bachelor pad you have here! My fair lady this place is just hopping!"

You release Dave and waltz into his home as if you owned the place. "Rosey! Where are youuuu!"

Rose comes running and stops in front of Dirk and kicks his shin. "Out! Out right now!"

The three of you stare at her in disbelief. "What…" Dirk says, bending down to Rose's height. "What's wrong Rose?"

"Leave!" Rose demands, pointing to the door. "We're having a family dinner and _you aren't invited!_"

Jake and you share a look before you say very gently, "But Rose, we're your family too girl!"

"No!" Rose shakes her head. "Mrs. Harley and John are here!"

"Wait-what?" Jake blinks in surprise and steps around the corner to look into the dining/kitchen area. "Jade? John?"

"Uncle Jake!" John slides off his chair and comes running into Jakes arms. "What are you doing here uncle Jake? Hi Dirk!"

"Hey buddy…" Dirk stares at John. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Dave invited mom and I over!" John grins widely. What a cute kid, you think. "We're having Chinese!"

Dave walks up beside you, still looking shocked. "What…what the hell are you _doing_ here?"

"We came to surprise you," you answer sheepishly. "We didn't know you had a _very_ lovely lady over—c'mon boys we'll be leaving now! Let's go! Onwards with the Gay Train!"

"Wait!" a female voice stops everyone in their tracks. A gorgeous curvy black haired woman walks up, smiling widely. "Are you Roxy? I've heard so much about you from Jake!"

"You two know each other?" you point between the two.

"Jade's my sister," Jake says. "I didn't know you knew Dave."

"Neither did I," Dirk says, his tone suspicious and eyes narrowing on Dave behind his pointy anime shades.

"Okay you've all met, time to go," Dave motions to the door. "Nice to see you, lovely to catch up, au revoir, adios, arrivederci…"

You giggle loudly. "We made Davey so flustered he's speaking other languages!"

"You should stay," Jade says in a polite firmness. "I believe in the more the merrier!"

W o w she is _waaaay_ too good for Dave. You stare at her and wonder what the eff she sees in him, but then, as you're watching her, you catch them sharing a look and it just _clicks_. It's not that she's too good for him—it's that they're equals in every way. Both single parents. Both attractive. Both hardworking. At least you assume she's hardworking, it's kind of a single-parent thing. Maybe just a parent thing, you don't really know nor care. But then when you catch them looking at each other it's as if they're in a room all by themselves. The world tilts away and you swear that if you snapped your fingers in front of them they wouldn't even notice.

You nudge Dirk in the ribs and he turns to look at you, but your gaze is fixated on Jade and Dave. He follows your line of sight and you can hear a little snicker come from his mouth as he smirks. "Head over heels for a girl," he whispers to you. "Ain't that cute?"

"Adorable," you whisper back.

"Dave! Where's the bathroom, I have to go potty."

Goddammit John.

You glare at the little shit, and wish that that he had never said anything. Although it was too late; Dave's gaze had snapped away from Jade's and he holds out a hand to John. "C'mon little man, I'll show you the way."

Dave leads him away, and you note Jade's eyes fixed to his back. You step beside her and nudge her lightly with your elbow. "Handsome boy eh? I mean he's my cousin so I can't touch, but I _can_ appreciate how much of a blessing puberty was."

"Don't be creepy, Rox," Dirk says sternly to you.

You stick out your tongue at him.

"No, it's okay," Jade shakes her head and smiles. "I agree with you actually, Roxy."

Wow you didn't think she would have been so forward. You like her already.

"I don't know what is with these Strider boys but they sure do love their green eyed beauties," you grin at her. "You and English here are just some great combination of genetics."

Jade giggles and blushes, and Jake bites his lip in embarrassment. Such cutie patooties!

You are no longer Roxy Lalonde and are now John Egbert. You hold Dave's hand and walk down a long corridor to a bathroom. You wait until he stops at a door and says, "Go do your thing little man," before you step in front of the door and turn to face him with your arms crossed.

"Dave, I like you," you say to him, face straight and tone full of business. "But I _love_ my mom. And I can tell she likes you. Maybe in the way she liked my dad, I don't know I was only two when he died," you're pretty mature for a four year old—you just had your birthday so your maturity is on the rise. "But I see that you like her—so _don't_ mess this up," you reach up and jab his stomach with your chubby index finger. "If you do I'll mess _you_ up."

Dave stares at you, before throwing his head back and howls with laughter. Your hands ball into fists at your sides and you pout up at him. Tears are ready to spring from your eyes but you _will_ stay strong.

Dave kneels before you and ruffles your already disheveled hair. "Don't worry little man, I would _never_ mess this up," he grins at you, and you've come to realize that Dave's face doesn't make many expressions so the probability of him telling the truth was high. "You mom is amazing and I'm just lucky to be spending time with the both of you. You really sure she likes me?"

You nod your head enthusiastically. "Yeah! She's different with you. Rose calls it 'flirting' but I just think she wants to kiss you. I don't really know what flirting means though."

Dave's grin grows wider. "You're a pretty smart kid John, and it's nice to have another boy around the house, y'know for guy things."

"Yeah! Mom likes too many girly things," You rolls your eyes. "I just want to play with my race cars and she's like 'no John let me build you a race car with an actual engine that you can steer yourself made out of environmentablie friendly stuff!'" you sigh in exasperation, whatever that means. "I just want to play with _normal_ boy stuff! I don't always need high-speed toys with 400-hundred-horsepower engines! Something from Toys R Us is just fine!"

"Yeah…that does sound like a bit much," Dave rubs the back of his head.

"Okay, well I'm going to go take a leak," you say and enter the bathroom. Dave turns on the light for you, and you shut the door behind you. "Thanks Dave!"

You are now Jade Harley and you were not expecting any of this. You thought you were going to have a quiet dinner at the Strider's, but now Rose is making a fuss and kicking her uncle and Jake is here for some reason and Dave's older brother and cousin are here and they seem like very nice people but you wish you met them another time. When John and Dave return, Dave stands next to you and whispers a sheepish apology in your ear.

"It's okay," you whisper back with a smile. "Your family is very lovely."

He grimaces. "That may be true, but I still wish you had met them under different circumstances."

"Don't worry about it," you gently place a hand on his upper bicep. _Wow_ thank god for police training he is _b u f f._ "Tonight has been lovely regardless."

He relaxes under your touch and you smile in relief. You can't wrap your mind around how goddamn _built_ this man is, and thoughts you wish came another time surfaced. Ok, yes you were thinking about him naked and your face probably looked as red as a goddamn poppy, but _still._ It's been a while for you.

Ok time to shut up now brain. Inappropriate thoughts can come when you're not in an apartment full of people and four year olds around. _He's so good looking…_ Shut up!

"Let's all go sit down," You suggest and Roxy looks at you, her eyebrows raising a fraction at your hand.

"We were just leaving, go get back to your dinner!" Roxy answers quickly, grabbing Jake by the collar and stopping him from moving further into the apartment.

"Nah you can stay," Dave sighs. "We bought enough food to feed an army. You came all the way here, stay for a bit."

"Are you sure bro?" Dirk turns to face Dave, a tinge of worry in his voice. "We really didn't mean to intrude."

"Nonsense!" you grab Roxy's hand and guide her into the apartment. "Easter is a time for family right?" you are actually asking it as a question. You have no idea if it is or not.

"U-uh yeah," Roxy stutters, looking back at Dirk, who shrugs and follows suit.

"Sit next to me, uncle Jake!" John shouts in glee, taking Jake by the hand and dragging him to the table.

Dave brings over barstools, and you help him set them up around the table. Rose sits on Dirks lap and apologizes for kicking him. John sits between Dirk and Jake, and Roxy sits beside you. You're left beside Dave, who looks anxious. You take his hand under the table and give it a quick squeeze. He gives you a barely imperceptible smile, and you return it.

"Chicken fried rice? My favorite!" Jake exclaims and soon everyone is digging in and laughing, sharing embarrassing stories and trading other anecdotes.

You are now Karkat Vantas and you _done_ fucked up. You've been banging on your own bedroom door for at least an hour now, trying to hit louder than the AC/DC Terezi has been blasting to prove how angry she is.

"TEREZI OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR. I'M SORRY OK? I'M A HUGE FUCKUP AND IT ONLY TOOK ME UNTIL NOW TO REALIZE YOU WANTED TO HAVE SEX. I LOVE SEX! I'M OPEN TO SEX EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY! PLEASE JUST OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"

You hear the volume go up and you growl in frustration. _What is the big fucking deal?_ So you didn't realize she wanted to have sex. You've already had sex today! Twice! You give up hitting the door and let your head fall against it with a dull thud. _Thunderstruck_ fills your ears and Brian Johnson's voice is giving you a huge fucking headache.

"I'M GOING OUT!" you shout through the wood. "I'LL BE BACK."

She doesn't reply. Typical. You grab your coat and slip into your Nike's and head for the door. You exit your apartment building and head for the convenience store down the street from your building.

_Women._

You are now a very drunk asshole wallowing in your own self-pity. You just told your best friend of at least twenty years to fuck off, and now you feel all alone and miserable. You're running low on tequila, and you're pretty sure you're going to get mugged eventually. You start to crave chips and you are in desperate need for some coffee, so you stumble down the street towards a convenience store that is actually open during this shit holiday weekend.

You fall over at least twice, and rip your tailored Gucci jeans that some dirt poor seven year old made in a third world country. You don't feel any remorse. You don't feel anything, really, except maybe a little nauseous. You walk right into the door, before realizing that no one had held it open for you. What is a rich socialite to do? Open it for him-fucking-self? Preposterous!

But you do it anyway because you really want some fucking chips. The store clerk watches you stumble about with a smirk on his face, and you're tempted to flick him off, but you're too focused on your chip hunt.

You grab three bags of Doritos, and a couple bags of Miss Vicki's and a few MONSTER energy drinks that will probably lead to the cause of your eventual death, but you're not too worried about it right now. You stumble over to the cash register and dump all of your junk on the counter. "And a pack of Marlboros," you say to the guy and he nods and grabs a pack for you.

He mutters a total, and you hand him your debit card. You stare at the machine, trying to focus on the numbers before you type the wrong one. _Six…_no fuck that's a nine. Your fingers stumble a couple times, and eventually you get it right. The fat guy who smells like beef jerky bags your crap and you snatch it from his hands without so much as a thanks.

"Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me."

You were staring at your feet, trying to make them walk straight, but you ended up falling into the ice cream freezer box thing, and a pathetic sob comes from your mouth. You look up and two Karkat Vantas's are rolling their eyes at you.

"Kar…you have a twin?" you stumble on your words and he sighs at you.

"There's only one of me you fucking twat," he stands you upright and you cling to his arms. "Let go you fuck!" he stares at you in disgust and you sob again.

"Kar I don't know what to do," you moan, clutching him tightly. "Please…I just want…I just…I…"

"You just _what_?"

"I want Jaaaaaade!" you bellow, tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Holy fuck," he mutters. "Look man, Jade is dating a really great guy, so move the fuck on. She's not interested."

You stare at him, eyes wide. "She what!?"

Your temperament flares. That's never a good thing. If you remember any of what you did while drunk, Sober You is going to be twice as worse.

"She has a boyfriend," Karkat rolls his eyes. "They're on a date tonight and everything. Move on you idiot."

"Why didn't she choose ME?" you roar into his face, and he turns away with his nose crinkled. "I'M the better man! I'M THE BEST MAN!"

"Dude…" Karkat blinks at you. "Calm down. Yelling is my thing. It's no big deal; you get the hots for basically anyone you see. You're a huge whore."

"NO I AM NOT!" you shake your head and push Karkat out of the way. "I'll show her! I'll show all of you!"

You head for the door, but Karkat grabs your arm and spins you roughly to face him. His face is deadly serious and his voice is so low and full of venom you almost wince. "If you ever touch her—or even _think_ about hurting her," he leans in close, eyes full of fire. "I will kill you."

And then he shoves you backwards and you stumble out, muttering to yourself.

You are now Karkat Vantas and you have never been so pissed off in your entire life. Jade Harley, the sweetest, kindest, most loving and loveable person you have _ever_ met was just threatened by the biggest scumbag you know. You actually feel murderous. The threat you gave him was no threat at all—it was a promise. Jade is your best fucking friend and it terrifies you to think that someone wants to hurt her. You'll do anything to protect her.

"Holy shit dude," he sweaty guy behind the counter stares at you in awe. "That was awesome."

"Thanks," you mutter and head towards the candy isle. You grab all of Terezi's favorites and grab a huge carton of chocolate milk. You walk back to the counter and pay the man.

Walking back to your apartment, you felt a lot better. Walks always made you feel better. Well, that and Terezi but she was mad at you right now so walking was the next best thing. When you were in high school you were your schools best cross country runner. No one thought you would be because you're pretty fucking short, but once you put your mind to something you get that shit done.

You enter your apartment and the AC/DC had stopped, thankfully. You walk straight up to your bedroom door and knock softly. No answer. You begin pounding on the wood out of frustration, and Terezi swings the door open a moment later, glaring at you.

You hold up the bag full of candy in surrender. "I know you're mad, and I'm _sorry_. I can be a huge dolt we both know that. I bought you a peace offering."

She snatches the bag and glances at you suspiciously. She peeks inside and you can see her face immediately soften. She glares at you again, putting up a translucent façade. "Candy isn't going to get you into my pants, Karkat Vantas."

You sigh in exasperation, and roll your eyes heavily. "I don't want to get into your fucking pants, Terezi. You mean more to me as a person than just some fuck-buddy. Why do you always equate things to sex? We're in a _relationship_, not a friends with benefits kind of deal. I _love_ you, you fucking asshole."

She grins widely and cackles her adorable, annoying cackle and steps aside for you to enter your own goddamn bedroom. You take her hand and fall onto the bed together, ripping open the candy packages you bought and entangling your limbs. She giggles again, and you kiss her forehead.

"How did I manage to get so lucky scoring such a great boyfriend?" she winks at you and you kiss her lips softly.

"I'm the lucky one."

"You cheesy bastard."

"I get it from Cusack. He's like a rom-com _master._"

She laughs louder this time and you lose yourselves in each other, kissing and cuddling and eating sour gummy worms. Sometimes eating them off each other. You spend the rest of the night laughing at bad jokes and making out.

Your name is Dave Strider and this night did not go as you planned it to. It ended pretty well, with your asshole brother Dirk, his other asshole boyfriend Jake, and your other asshole cousin Roxy leaving before Jade and John did. Everyone said goodbye with lots of hugs and kisses and waves, and when the trio left, you leaned against the door and sighed with relief. John and Rose were asleep on the couch, curled up together under a purple blanket.

"Do you want me to make some tea or coffee?" Jade asks you quietly, smiling at your disheveled appearance.

"I would love some tea," you breathe out pressing off the door and walking with her into the kitchen.

Jade fills your electric kettle with water and clicks the button down to let it boil. You work together to put away the few remaining leftovers and throw the rest of the empty containers out. She does the dishes while you clean the kitchen up and sweep around the table.

When the water boils, Jade pulls two mugs from the cupboard you pointed out and puts an orange pekoe teabag in each. She pours water into the cups and lets them steep. She turns to face you, leaning against the counter.

"I had a lot of fun," she grins at you. "Your family is wonderful. Thank you for inviting us."

"I honestly wasn't expecting them," you rub the back of your head awkwardly. "I was surprised when you invited them in."

"Why?" she looks at you, eyes honest and open.

"Well…"you grin faintly, avoiding her gaze. "I was hoping for just the four of us."

"We can always spend more time together," her smile is warm and fills your soul with something you can't quite place, but feels as if it has been missing for years. "You have my number after all."

Oh.

"Yeah, I'd love that," you nod at her and she grins and bites her lip before turning towards the mugs. She puts in the allotted milk and sugar you ask for, and you sit down across from each other at the table.

"There's some pie left," she smiles excitedly and leaves the table. She returns with two forks and hands you some. "Best not let it go to waste."

You accept your fork and dig in with her, chuckling at the mild depravity of it all.

"They're so cute together," Jade looks past you at the kids sleeping peacefully on the couch.

You look over your shoulder and grin. "Yeah, they really like each other."

"John told me the other day that he wanted a sister like Rose," Jade giggles softly. "I thought that was the sweetest thing."

You turn and stare at her. "Rose said the same thing to me a few nights ago."

Jade claps a hand to her mouth and lets out a laugh. "You don't think they planned that, do you?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," you shrug. "Rose is a bit more conniving than I give her credit for."

"Sometimes I wonder if John misses his dad," Jade sighs and plays with a piece of pie. "He looks at you the same way he did his dad. So full of pride and excitement. He's never taken to any stranger like this before."

"Neither has Rose," you nod your head in agreement. "She's always so worried about me. She never let's another woman near me. You're the first woman I've ever seen her take a liking to that isn't family."

Jades eyes meet yours and she grins softly. "funny how kids work, eh?"

"Too smart for their own good," you nod.

You two sit like that for at least another hour or two. Sometimes in silence, sometimes creating conversations. You enjoyed her company just as it was. Her smiles lit up the room and every time she spoke she took your breath away.

Your name is Dave Strider and you might be falling for a woman you've only met twice beforehand. It was the same way with Her. You just _knew._ But Jade was sweeter and kinder and even _funnier_. You didn't care how inappropriate it was to date your daughter's friend's mom. You would be damned if you didn't try.

"I would love to see you again," you say as Jade is ready to head out the door, a sleeping John sprawled in her arms. "Without the kids this time."

She smiles widely at you, and you can't help smile back. "Call me…but soon not in two weeks," she chuckles a little and it's like music to your ears. "A girl can't wait forever." And then she winks at you and before you can respond she's walking out into the hallway.

Holy shit.


	4. Slow and Steady

FMN 4

Chapter four: Slow and Steady.

Your name is Jade Harley and holy shit you are getting ready for a _date_. It was Friday night and you and Dave were set to go out together. You have no idea where you're going and even though you practically begged him to know when he called you he remained tightlipped.

You were currently in your house in upstate New York, Karkat sitting on the edge of your bed snooping through your beside table. You asked him to help you pick an outfit out for your date. Also because he was over anyway to hangout after work and you wanted his male advice.

"Okay…this one…or _this_ one?" you hold up two dresses, one a slinky black one with a dropping back, and one a beautiful lavender purple A-line that stopped above the knees.

"Neither," Karkat deadpans.

You gape at him. "_Why?"_

"The black one seems more like a hot anniversary dress and the other says 'hey look I'm attractive but I don't take you seriously'."

You stare at him and wonder what kind of magazines he's been reading lately.

"Well _I_ think the black one is very _mature_ and shows off my curves!" you're a bit miffed at his lack of appeal to your dresses, but you are a grown-ass woman and are able to make your own decisions.

But you still put the dresses back and pull out two more options.

"Option A or B?" you hold up a blood red high neck with a scooping back that ends a bit above the knees and a sage colored empire dress with an embellished silver belt.

"B," Karkat nods. "Definitely B."

You look between the two and decide that he is right it was the better option. You put the first option back in your closet and walk over to your ensuite bathroom. You close the door and slip into the dress quickly. You walk back out and do a little twirl for Karkat. He watches you thoughtfully and nods slowly.

"I hate it."

Your mouth drops and you smack your hand to your face. "_Why_ did I bother asking your opinion?"

"Because the only other males you know are out with John for ice cream so you can get ready in peace," Karkat rolls his eyes at you. "Just wear the dress who cares what I think?"

"I know more men than Jake and Dirk and you!" you glare at him indignantly.

"Yeah but they both have horrible sense in fashion anyway," Karkat blinks at you and you sigh. "Jake wears shorts in the fucking winter for god's sake."

Okay he was right about this. Besides you liked Karkats honesty. No other person you know was this blunt with you.

"Well," you brush your hair airily off your shoulders and hold your head high. "I'm tired of trying on dresses. This is comfy, so I will wear it."

"I think the first option is better."

You groan and take a look back at your closet in dismay. "Really?" you bite your lip.

"Yeah, I mean it's hot, it's just kind of a long. Wear long heels or something," he shrugs.

You snatch the dress off the hanger and dash back to your bathroom. You switch dresses in record time and come out feeling more confident. Karkat whistles lowly as you slink back into the room and you let out a laugh.

"Now, time to pick some shoes," he stands up and approaches your walk-in closet, heading to the back where your shoes are stacked.

You shake your head and grin as you watch him.

You are now Dave Strider and holy shit you're going on a date. Terezi was on Skype with you, watching you pick out outfits. She seemed to dislike everything, and her jokes were really starting to piss you off.

"This is _one night_," she rolls her eyes dramatically. "Calm down or else you're going to have to bring extra shirts to sweat through."

"Ew," you crinkle your nose at her and hold up two nearly identical shirts. "Which one?"

"Whichever one that doesn't make you look like a pompous douche," she inspects her nails and you put the shirts back immediately.

"You are so fucking complicated," you complain, sifting through the clothes in your closet. "Why did I even bother asking for your advice."

"Because every other woman you know is too busy for your bullshit problems."

Ok. That was true.

"How about this one," you hold up a blue button up dress shirt.

"Aren't you wearing jeans?" she squints at you through her screen. "Blue on blue is terrible."

You groan and put the shirt back. "This one?" it's a simple white button up that fits your form nicely.

"Sure," she shrugs. "But wear dark jeans with it."

You take her advice and begin changing. You slip on a black leather belt and look yourself over in the mirror. You then stand a ways away from your computer and hold up your arms in a "well?" manner and Terezi grins at you.

"Perfect!"

You wash up and put on some cologne and your beat up black Converse Chuck Taylors, and slide into your tan brown leather jacket.

"Thanks Terezi," you sit in front of your computer and give her a small quirk of the lips. "I'll tell you how things go later."

"No tell me tomorrow," she shakes her head and then smiles slyly at you. "I have my own date tonight." She then winks and ends the conversation.

You shake your head with a small grin and exit your bedroom. Rose is watching TV in the living room, and you scoop her off the couch and turn off the television. She looks you up and down and raises her eyebrows at you.

"You're wearing something so _boring_," she rolls her eyes at you. "And it _still_ took you two hours to put on."

"You'll understand when you're older," you mutter and grab her small purple backpack and your car keys and exit your apartment. "You'll be spending the next few hours at John's house with Uncle Dirk and Jake."

She blinks at you. "How long will you be out for?"

"A few hours tops," you ruffle her platinum hair with a smile. "You know my number if you need me."

When you reach your car in the underground garage, you put Rose in the black car seat and strap her in. You close her door and slip into the drivers' side, turning on the GPS as you start the car. You punch in Jades address and pull out of your paring spot.

Your name is Jade Harley and holy shit Dave should be here any minute. John, Jake and Dirk had returned from their ice cream escapade and were now hanging out in the den. Karkat reassured you that you looked great before saying good-bye and leaving for his own date with Terezi. You start to pace in your kitchen, feeling your anxiety swell after every passing minute.

The doorbell rings some twenty minutes later and you confidently walk over to the front door. You unlock it and swing it open, and there Dave stands holding Rose in his arms. He looked _good_. His muscles were defined under his leather jacket and his hair was combed, and his cologne was _wonderful_. You step aside for him to enter and he does, his mouth slightly agape as he enters.

"You look beautiful," he blurts and you smile at him.

"Thank you," you say with a small blush. "You look great as well."

He stays silent, his eyes trained on you from behind his round sunglasses. Rose slips from his arms and runs to Dirk when he and Jake and John enter the foyer. John says hi to Rose and then walks over to you.

"Whoa mom," he blinks at you, looking you up and down. "Normally you wear sweat pants on Fridays."

You laugh and give him a hug. "I'll see you in a few hours," you kiss his forehead. "Be good, alright?"

He nods and hugs you back. "Hi Dave!" he waves quickly and as you turn away you swear you can see him point two over his fingers into a V and point them at his eyes and then at Dave.

You shake it off; John isn't like that!

"Hey John," Dave nods at your son and they fist bump. "Rosey you be good for Dirk and Jake, alright?"

She nods and gives him a quick hug before returning to her uncle.

"Call me if you need anything," You say to Jake and Dirk. "My phone's fully charged."

"We'll be fine," Dirk waves you off. "Have fun you crazy kids."

"Yeah we'll have a jumpin' time!" Jake says with a grin. "Go enjoy yourselves!"

You smile widely at them and then turn to Dave. You both say goodbye to everyone and you step outside, Dave trailing close behind you.

"Your house is lovely," he says as he matches your pace to his car.

"Thank you," you grin at him. "You and Rose are welcome anytime!"

He returns your grin and holds open the passenger door for you. You thank him and slide into the soft leather seat, and click your seatbelt. He closes the door and walks around the hood to the drivers' side. He slides gracefully into the car and starts the engine. Music begins playing softly in the background and you relax in your seat.

"So are you still not going to tell me where we're going?" you look over at him and catch the faintest grin on his lips.

"I hope you like surprises," he says evenly as he backs out of your driveway.

"Love em," you grin softly and stare out the window as your house fades from your sight.

You are now Dave Strider and you are gripping the steering wheel tighter than you've ever held onto something before in your entire life. Your knuckles were turning white (whiter than your pasty skin which is pretty impressive considering) and you pray to whatever's listening that Jade doesn't notice.

Holy _fuck_ she looked beautiful. You thought she was beautiful already but tonight she just looked downright sexy. And the kind of sexy that was even sexier than it should be because she did everything without effort. She swayed her hips as she walked by you and you almost came. Her heels were so tall she was only an inch shorter than you, and her dress revealed her tanned, long strong legs that were the nicest you've ever seen on a woman before.

You felt so underdress, with your stupid white shirt and jeans. Of course you weren't going to wear a tux to the Italian restaurant you were bringing her to; you would have just looked like a douche. But next to her you looked like a tool. You tend to pride yourself on looking cool ironically, but when you're with her you couldn't give less of a shit about 'coolness' and 'irony' because everything was brighter when she was around and her laugh was music to your ears and shit you just missed your turn.

You pretend you did that on purpose and turn your blinker on for the next right-hand turn. Jade looks over at you in confusion and asks:

"This is a roundabout, why are you turning here?"

Fuck.

"Oh, wrong turn," you shrug and turn off your blinker. "Guess I wasn't paying much attention."

She giggles softly and you wish she never stopped. "It's a new neighborhood, I get lost here all the time."

"How long have you lived here?" you look at her quickly before turning back to the road to do a totally illegal U-turn.

"Around two years," she shrugs. "I used to live in New Orleans with my husband and John but I moved here when my grandfather died."

"I'm sorry." you mean it.

She laughs again but this time it's a bit shaky. "It's okay! He was like a hundred years old so we all knew it was coming."

"Did he get to know John?"

"Yeah," she smiles down at her lap and you contemplate taking her hand. "He was there the day he was born. I've never seen a grown man cry so much in my life!"

"You should've seen me when Rose was born," you chuckle lightly and shake your head. "I was a mess."

She smiles at you and you return it. "You're a great dad," she says. "I see how you put Rose first before you do anything—it's wonderful to see."

"You do the same," you shrug. "It's just a parent's instincts."

She smiles wider again and you wish you had photographic memory because you never want to see anything else ever again.

When you finally arrive at the restaurant, Jade looks up at it with wonder in her eyes. You open the door for her and she walks in, taking in the smells and the people all at once. It's a total hole in the wall, but it's the best place you've ever eaten in your entire experience in New York.

Aranea Serket, one of the waitresses here leads you over to the table you had reserved earlier today. Breadsticks were already laid out and fairy lights were lit up above the table. A candle flickered on the middle of the checkered tablecloth and you quietly thanked Aranea for the effort she put into tonight.

You slide out Jades chair for her and she thanks you. You sit across from her and Aranea hands you your menus. You and Jade looks your over and Aranea asks if you want to start with any drinks.

"Just a water for me," you say.

"Me as well, please," Jade smiles up at Aranea and she returns it politely before walking off.

"This place is so cute!" Jade exclaims while she looks around with wide eyes.

"It also has the best food in the entirety of New York," you say with a small grin. "It's my favorite place."

"Thank you for bringing me here," she looks at you, her eyes filling with warmth.

"No problem."

Aranea comes back a few minutes later with your drinks and asks if you've figured out your order. You ask for your usual, a slice of lasagna with garlic bread and a salad on the side. It's Jades turn to order and she's still scanning her menu, biting her lip. She finally decides on a plate of linguini with red sauce and garlic bread, also having a house salad on the side. Aranea writes your order down and leaves.

"Good choice," you say with a nod. "Their pasta here is _amazing_."

"I'm excited!" her smile is full blown and infectious. "So, tell me a bit about yourself," she says after a moment, looking at you expectantly.

"What do you want to know?" you lean back in your chair.

"Anything…everything," she shrugs.

"Well…" you hesitate, trying to think of where to start. "You already know the basics: I'm twenty-seven, a single dad, and I'm a cop."

"No!" she giggles and shakes her head. "Not the basics! How you grew up; what music you listen to; where you went to school, first kiss and all that."

"If I tell you everything we'll run out of things to talk about," you smirk a little. "And then where will we be on our next date?"

She blushes a little and runs a hand through her thick black hair. "Well to stop _that_ from happening, why don't you tell me where you're from?"

"Texas," you lean your elbows on the table and look at her intently. "What about you?"

She looks a little embarrassed before she answers, "You might not believe this, but I grew up on a secluded island with my grandfather and Jake."

You blink at her rapidly. "What."

She giggles awkwardly and nods. "Yeah! Grandpa was this multi-billionaire and he taught me everything I know!"

"So that explains the lack of Power Ranger knowledge," you nod in understanding. "I guess we sort of have one thing in common—I grew up alone with my brother. No parents or anything."

Jade blinks at you in surprise. "Just you and Dirk?"

You nod. "Yeah…having an older brother had its perks—no bedtime, eating whatever I wanted, and I was allowed to have whatever I wanted within reason. But we would always get into fights that resulted in a broken rib or three."

Jade's mouth flies open. "Jesus! That sounds extremely painful!"

You grin slightly and run a hand through your hair. "Yeah, but it was the most fun I had growing up." You take a sip of your water before continuing. "What was growing up on a secluded island like? What did you do all day?"

"Um…" she presses her lips together, thinking. "Mostly I just explored and built stuff. My grandpa was big on robots and technology. Also I gardened a lot!"

"Wait—you grew up building robots?" you stare at her and then chuckle. "That's all I ever remember my brother doing."

"They're actually quite fun!" she grins. "I had one that was a replica of myself that would be awake while I was asleep. I could control it in my dreams!"

Your mouth slackens, and you take a second before blurting out: "wait what."

She blushes again and looks down at the tablecloth. "Weird, I know. But it was a lot of fun!"

"It sounds awesome."

She looks up at you and a warm smile inches up her face. Your cheeks warm and you take a mouthful of water to cool off.

Aranea comes back with your food and sets the massive portions down with a small bang. Jade blinks rapidly at the amount of food presented and then up at you. You shrug and tell her to dig in.

"Enjoy!" Aranea says politely and then leaves.

Jade swirls pasta on her fork and then puts it into her mouth. As she chews her eyes grow wide and she stares at her plate in awe. "This is _amazing!_" She exclaims after she swallows.

"Told you," you grin and set to work on your lasagna.

"I'll probably have enough food to eat for the next three days!" she giggles before putting another forkful into her mouth.

"I would try to eat as much as you can," you say, stabbing a piece of lasagna with your fork. "Italian's tend to get offended when you can't finish your food."

She stares down at her plate with a grimace. "I'll _try_."

The next couple hours fly by as if it were only a matter of minutes. Aranea comes back with a bottle of complimentary wine and pours a glass for the both of you before you can say no. Jade, like you, becomes more open (if that were possible) with a bit of alcohol in her system. You realize two glasses too late that she's a lightweight.

After paying and thanking everyone in the restaurant, you and Jade head out. She's stumbling in her six (holy fucking shit how does she walk _sober_ in those?) inch heels, and you wrap an arm around her waist. She's giggling and snorting and all-round adorable, but some of the things she says you aren't quite sure are even English.

"Tonight was _amaaaaazing_," she sighs, looking up at you with wide eyes. "Thank you!"

"No problem," you grin at her. "We should probably get you home now though."

"No!" she gasps at you, looking offended. "I'm having such a good time! Oh but I'm craving pretzels, do you know a good pretzel place around her?"

"We're in New York, there's street food everywhere," you use your free arm to gesture broadly at the street.

"I know one!" she cries out and begins walking down the street. You jog after her (for someone so wasted, she walked pretty fast in those shoes) and steady her before she walked into a street lamp. "It's just down the street somewhere! Oooh Dave they have the _best_ pretzels!"

"Do you want me to drive?" you offer as she stumbles into your chest and laughs again. "You _are_ walking in pretty huge shoes."

She laughs and pats your chest. "I'm okay—shit," she bumps into a parking meter and you sigh under your breath.

"Really, the car is right there," you try to goad her back towards your car, but she's having none of it.

"It's so lovely outside though Dave!" she throws her hands up and basks in the smell of pollution. "I love to walk—don't you love to walk?"

You shake your head in amazement. Two drinks and she was hammered. Although the glasses were pretty big so maybe it was equivalent to four drinks, you aren't too sure, you only had one.

"Walking sounds nice, sure," you give in and slide your arm around her tiny waist again. "Just walk more slowly before you hurt yourself."

She laughs and wraps her arm around your back. "I'm not too worried, I have a _dashing_ knight with me after all."

"My ego's big enough Jade, don't go sayin' stuff like that or else I might believe you."

Her laugh gets louder and more raucous with each step. "You're so cute!" she exclaims.

You continue walking and you don't think you've ever seen anyone this happy before while drunk. And you see a _lot_ of drunken people in New York. You've lost count of how many times you've had to clean puke out of your cruiser after bringing teenagers to the Drunk Tank.

"There they are!" she tries to run to the pretzel stand but you hold onto her tightly.

"Let's walk together," you say. "Ok?"

"Ok!" she grins up at you and slows her pace to match yours.

Thank fucking god, you thought she was going to bail there for a second.

You approach the pretzel stand and Jade immediately asks for two pretzels. The guy standing behind the car pulls two out of the heater box thing, and slips them into paper wrappers. You hand him some money and accept your pretzel. Jade bites into hers and begins walking again.

"The car's back there Jade," you say as you match her stride.

"I want to keep walking!" she giggles. "I like your company!"

Well. Damn.

"I like your company too, but I don't want to you to get—"

She cuts you off with a finger to your mouth, squishing your lips together. "_Shhh!_" she says, eyes wide and wild. "Look at that!"

She points to a bar with flashing neon lights, and a sign that says _karaoke night_ in front of the door. Oh fuck no. _Fuck_ no.

She grabs your hand and pulls you toward the door. "Let's go inside!"

"Jade," you calmly spin her around to face you and she smiles warmly at you. "Jade you're drunk. Let's get you home and then we can go out to a bar another time."

She giggles a little and raises her face towards yours, eyelashes fluttering. "You want to get me home? Well, well Mr. Strider, I _must_ say I never thought you were this forward."

You can barely smell the alcohol in her breath because you're too focused on her close proximity and the fact that she just mentioned having sex with you.

No shut the fuck up Strider Brain, you are not having sex with a very drunk Jade Harley. That's taking advantage of her. You aren't going to do that—holy shit she's wrapping her arms around your neck.

She leans in close enough for your lips to brush before saying, "How far away is your apartment?"

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

"Jade…" you sigh and turn your head away. "You can crash at my place tonight, but we aren't going to have sex." You voice is final. "Not like this. Not when you're drunk."

She winks at you. "You really are my knight." And then she's turning and walking away and you have to spin her around again and gently tell her she's going the wrong way. She laughs and takes your hand, allowing you to walk at a normal pace. She leans on you for support and you feel her shiver, noting her back is exposed. You wrap your jacket around her shoulders and take her hand again.

On your drive back to your apartment you call Dirk on the Bluetooth to let him know that Jade was hammered and was staying at your place. You can just _feel_ the judging raised eyebrow in his voice as he says, "Oh yeah?" and you cringe. You assure him you're not having sex, but you don't want Jade to have to go home to a screaming four year old while trying to nurse a hangover in the morning. You ask if he can stay with Rose for the night and he says "Yeah, of course. She's asking to talk to you though," and you wait patiently for the phone to shuffle to your daughter.

"Dad?" he voice rings out around the car.

"Hey Rosey," you say. "How was your night?"

"Fun!" she exclaims, but her voice gets a bit smaller when she asks, "Are you coming to get me now?"

You grimace. "No baby I wish I was," you sigh and she's silent. "I'm going to get you in the morning though. Do you want to have a sleep over with John?"

"Sure," you can imagine her shrugging her tiny shoulders. "Is Miss Harley going back to our house with you?"

"Yeah she needs to sleep," you turn your head to look at Jade, who was fighting sleep in her seat. "Is that okay with you? I can come get you if you want."

"No," Rose says quickly. "No you go home. I like spending extra time with uncle Dirk! I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright. Call me if you need me," you say with a bit of anxiety and guilt. You don't want to leave her for the night, but you know she's okay. "I love you."

"Love you too. Good night!"

"Night."

_Click._

You turn into your apartment complex and park your car in a spot that's closest to the elevator. You pull Jade into your arms, and carry her towards the elevator. Her arms cling lightly to your shirt and she fades between being awake and asleep in your arms.

You wait patiently for the elevator to stop and then walk down the hall towards your apartment. You struggle to open the door with Jade in your arms, but you manage after a couple minutes. You kick off your shoes in the entranceway and make your way over to your bedroom. You lie Jade down and slip off her shoes and drop them at the edge of your bed. You pull the covers over her and go retrieve a glass of water an a couple Advil for the morning. You place them on the nightstand and turn to go.

"Wait."

Her voice is small but it fills your ears and stops you in your tracks. "Yeah?" you turn around and you can make out her eyes staring at you in the dark.

"Stay."

Oh.

"Please?" she holds out a hand. "We don't have to do anything, but I still want you to stay."

You bite your lip and hesitate before walking around to the other side of the bed. "If you come onto me Jade, don't be mad because I need my sleep."

She giggles and pushes aside the covers for you. "Can I borrow something to wear?"

You fumble for the wooden dresser near your bed and pull out a random shirt from the second drawer. You toss it over to her and she sits on the edge of the bed. "Unzip me?" she asks from where she sits and oh fuck you can see her silhouette in the moonlight and her _curves_.

You walk over to her and she stands with your help. You can feel her hot breath against your neck before she turns around and lifts her hair. You try to remain calm as you pull down the zipper and she slides the dress off her shoulders.

Oh fuck, walk away Strider. Abort mission. Abort.

"Uh, I'll leave you to it then," you turn away and try to think gross things to stop the impending boner.

"No, I'm done." She says, quickly slipping your shirt on and then back into bed.

You walk around to the other side and pull a tank top form the drawer you left open. You unbutton your shirt and slide into the other one. You unbuckle your belt and slip out of your jeans and root for a pair of pajama pants.

"It's too hot for pants," Jade says calmly from the bed. "Don't worry I won't jump you."

"Are you sure you won't be uncomfortable?" you turn to look at her.

"I'll be fine, I'm a big girl," you hear the grin in her voice.

You hesitate, but decide 'fuck it' and climb into bed. You pull the covers over you, and you feel Jade slide on the mattress closer to you. You automatically slide your arm under her and turn to press your chest against her back.

She sighs contently, and entwines your fingers together. "This is nice," her voice breaks the silence. "Just this."

"This is perfect," you agree, your breath hot on her neck, face buried in her hair.

Your other arm wraps around her waist and your legs tangle together. Sleep comes quickly, and you're lulled by the even sounds of her breathing. Tonight was perfect. She was perfect. And you wish you could do this every night for the rest of your life.

You were looking forward to what tomorrow would bring you for the beginning of your new relationship. Little did you know it wasn't what you were expecting.


	5. Ghosts that we Knew

FMN 5

Chapter five: Ghosts that We Knew.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're pretty sure it's noon, but you're too busy tangled up with your girlfriend to care about how late it is. Terezi rolls over in your small bed and smacks your face with her bony arm. You shove it out of the way and pull her pillow out from the edge of her head and pull it over your eyes. She groans and elbows your ribs.

"Go back to sleep," you grumble at her, patting her face with your hand.

"Give me my pillow!" she snaps from beside you, tugging on the corner of her pillow.

"No."

"YES," she punches your stomach and snatches the pillow when you curl in on yourself, trying to catch your breath.

"Holy fuck was that necessary?!" you wheeze out and she cackles.

"Will you make me breakfast?" she leans over you and pouts.

"No," you turn away and throw your arm over your eyes.

"We can have morning seeeex," she sings into your ear, her low chuckle tickling your neck.

"No," you refuse again, pulling your own pillow out from under you and pushing it against your face.

"You're such a horrible boyfriend," you can tell she's rolling her eyes, and you smirk against your pillow. "Fine. _I'll_ make breakfast." She crawls out of the bed and you immediately feel cold without her there. You move your pillow aside to watch her slink away, wearing nothing but one of your old band tees, a small part of her curvy bottom exposed.

Goddammit.

You take a moment to drag yourself out of bed and follow her, scratching your ass as you stagger out of your bedroom. You can hear her rummaging around the tiny kitchen, pulling things out of the fridge and slamming them down on the chipped countertop. You note bacon, eggs and breakfast sausage. She pulls out a couple frying pans and softened butter from the microwave. You walk up behind her and wrap your arms loosely around her waist and press chaste kisses to the back of her neck. She leans into you and meets your mouth for a kiss.

"I'm starting to miss the bed," she purrs into your ear, and you chuckle into her hair, lacing your fingers together.

"Too bad, I want bacon," you kiss her cheek quickly and walk a short distance to the retro blue fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice and pressing the V opening to your lips, swallowing a huge mouthful.

"What a charmer," Terezi rolls her eyes and throws at least half a pound of bacon into a heated pan. The bacon sizzles and it's like music to your ears.

"Do you have to work today?" you ask after putting the carton back.

"Nope," she shakes her head and works on scrambling some eggs.

"So you're all mine for the day?" you smirk at her and pull her closer by the waist. She smacks your hands with a spatula and steps away with a coy smile.

"Depends on how well you behave," she winks at you and you groan.

Goddammit.

Your name is Jade Harley and for the first time in you don't even know how long, you woke up with arms around you sharing a bed with someone who wasn't your son shaken by a nightmare. You twist around and come face to face with Dave Strider snoring quietly beside you. You don't think you've ever seen him without his shades on, and the thought of seeing his eyes kind of excited you. You always imagined him with ocean blue eyes but something at the back of your mind said he was much too cool for an eye color like that.

You lift your head and look around for a bathroom, feeling the need to pee and maybe text Karkat about how the night went. You start to slide out of the bed when Dave's arms tighten around you and pull you closer to him. "Stay," he mumbles into your neck and your face instantly heats.

"I have to pee," you admit, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Pee later," his face buries in your neck and you shiver slightly. "Cold?" he asks and entangles your legs under the sheets.

"I had fun last night," you murmur into his chest and you can hear him smirk.

"You sure liked your wine," he teases and you gently smack his ribs.

"I'm so sorry about that," you look up at him, but his eyes are closed and his face is relaxed. "I feel terrible!"

"It's okay," his fingers entwine with yours and you relax against him. "I still had a good time. And you were right—those pretzels were the best."

"Oh god," you groan and smack your face with your palm. "I always crave pretzels when I'm drunk. Ahh I feel so dumb!"

He chuckles and you feel his stomach contract with each laugh. "It's okay, really. It was a fun night."

"Thank you for not bringing me back home last night," your voice drops to a whisper even though no body else is in the apartment. "I would have felt absolutely terrible to have to face John while drunk. That wouldn't have been fair to him."

"No problem," he says quietly. "I know the feeling. Rose had to deal with her moms' alcohol dependency for a long time before she left. It changed her."

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry," you squeeze his hand and he returns it. "I can't even imagine what you both had to go through during that."

"She grew up too fast," his voice grows shaky, and you curl into him for comfort. "I wish I could go back in time, y'know? End things before Rose had to experience any of that."

You aren't sure what to say, so you settle for: "I'm sorry."

"We both had shitty luck with love, huh?" he mumbles into your ear and you let out an awkward laugh.

"Yeah really," you say with a sigh. "But some things work out for the best, right?"

"Definitely," he says, sounding tired.

"Can I go to the bathroom now?" you grin into his chest and he groans.

"Do you have to?"

"I can pee the bed if you'd rather."

He sighs and slowly releases you. You climb out of the bed and wander into the hallway and turn into the bathroom. You go pee, wash your hands, and gurgle some water before returning to Dave's room. He's sitting up in bed, looking down at his phone. You climb in next to him and pull the covers high up to your neck.

"I'm just texting Dirk," he explains, still staring at his phone screen. "The kids are up and eating lunch."

"Lunch?" you echo in surprise.

"Yeah it's like noon," he says airily.

You blink rapidly at nothing in particular, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you slept till noon. Dave clicks a button on his phone to turn off the screen and bends over to the nightstand on his side and puts it down and grabs his shades. He turns back and lifts his shades up to his face. You snap back into reality and grab his wrist quickly.

"Wait!" you exclaim hand firmly clenched on his wrist. "I want to see your eyes! You always hide them behind your sunglasses!"

He hesitates for a moment before turning his head to face yours. A small gasp escapes your mouth as you notice the reddest eyes you've ever seen on a person before. You're actually quite sure you've never even seen red eyes before.

"Yeah, weird, I know," he turns away and begins sliding his sunglasses on his head. You snatch them out of his hands quickly and smile brightly at him.

"I love them," you say softly and fold up the glasses in your palm. "They suit you."

His face visibly relaxes and his mouth curves up into a small smile. "You're too good for me, y'know."

"Really? I think just the opposite," you lean in a kiss him softly. He's surprised at first, and a little stiff but soon his mouth is moving against yours and his hands are against your cheek and rubbing your back and you're trying to grip onto something because you feel like you're falling falling falling…

His hand slides down to your thigh and your hand reacts by curling your fingers into his hair. Soft moans escape your mouth and soon you're sliding down on the mattress and Dave's leaning over you. The kiss becomes more urgent, desperate even. You feel like you're high, floating on something that you can't quite explain. He nips at your bottom lip and you grab onto his shoulder to pull him closer. Your neck extends as he brushes soft kisses onto your collarbones, and you bite your lip to stop an imminent moan.

His hand slides up from your thigh and onto your exposed stomach. His thumb rubs your soft skin and his hand inches forward before stopping. He looks you in the eye and you nod, kissing his lips. His hand slides forward and soon you let out a gasp at the gentle cupping of his hand around your breast.

You tug at his tank top and he raises his hands quickly to pull it off. You miss his touch, but he returns to you in a second resuming your position. One of his hands is tangled in your hair and the other is resuming its ministrations on your breast. You're both touching everywhere and your kiss becomes deeper and more passionate. He's kissing your neck and your collarbone and you're biting his ear playfully and you're both panting and sweaty and it's just a hot mess.

"Damn we could have been doing this a long time ago," he murmurs into your ear and you let out a shaky laugh.

"I doubt you could have handled it," you wink and he growls, kissing you hard.

"We should stop," he says after a minute and you stare at each other, face flushed and lips stung.

"But we don't _have_ too," you purr and his jaw contracts.

"I don't _want_ to," he admits. "But we shouldn't go too fast."

You sigh and realize he's right. "Okay. Breakfast?" you are pouting a little, but Dave just smirks and kisses your lips again.

"Sounds like a plan," his lips are soft against yours and then he's climbing out of the bed, holding a hand out to you. "What are you in the mood for?"

You accept his hand and he pulls you up from the mattress. Without your heels on you're at least half a foot shorter than him. He grins down at you and rubs his thumb along your hand.

"What do you have?" you smile at him.

"Pancakes?"

"Perfect."

He leads you out to the kitchen, and you sit atop of the island while he rummages through his cabinets, pulling out a griddle and pancake mix. He grabs eggs and milk and dumps everything together in a stainless steel bowl without measuring, stirring with a whisk. You grin faintly and shake your head, wondering how well this adventure was going to turn out.

"What do you like in them?" he asks as he leans against his countertop.

"Anything," you shrug. "Chocolate chips mostly."

He smirks, "I knew I liked you." You blush.

He heats up the griddle and slaps a tablespoon of butter onto the middle of the metal. He begins spreading it around, letting it sizzle before melting. He scoops pancake batter out of the bowl with a ladle and pours the thick liquid onto the griddle. You go on the hunt for chocolate chips and pull some fruit out of the fridge to add to the mix.

There's a knock at the door, and Dave asks you to watch over the pancakes while he goes to answer it. He wipes his hands with a dishtowel and throws it over his shoulder carelessly as he walks away. You watch him leave, admiring his fantastic ass.

You hear the door unlock and you can hear Dave speaking to a man. You peak your head around the corner and notice a police officer standing in the doorway. Dave looked stiff and you could hear an edge in his voice.

Your name is Dave Strider and god dammit, when they say the past comes back to haunt you they really mean it. Sollux Captor stands in your doorway, fully clad in his uniform. He has an apologetic expression on his face, and a grimace pulling down a corner of his mouth.

"Hey Dave," he says with a sigh. "I'm real sorry but I'm going to need you to come down to the station."

"Why?" you cross your arms, quirking a brow.

"You're not going to like this," Sollux runs a hand through his hair. "But we brought Aria to the drunk tank and she's asking for you."

You stare at him for what seems like eternity. "What." You assume that comes out of your mouth and not his because even though it's a distant echo in your head it sounds like your voice. This isn't possible. She wasn't in New York. She was in Vegas or some other addiction-enabling city. She wasn't here. She couldn't be here.

"I'm sorry man," Sollux shakes his head. "I can tell her you aren't coming, but I still figured this should be a conversation held in person."

"No," you shake your head and blink rapidly, trying to regain control. "No. I'll come—just-just give me a couple minutes, okay?"

Sollux nods and you turn around and enter the kitchen. Jade is standing in front of the griddle, flipping pancakes and humming quietly to herself. You walk up beside her and she turns to smile at you.

"Everything okay?" she says, eyes bright.

"Not exactly," you grimace, and she frowns. "I have to go down to the station. You can come if you'd like and we can pick up food after."

"Why do you have to go?" she raises and eyebrow at you before transferring the pancakes to an empty plate.

"My wife was brought to the drunk tank."

"What."

"Okay, technically ex-wife," you say quickly. "We just haven't signed the papers yet."

"The same wife who ran away with all of your money?" Jade blinks rapidly at you and her mouth unhinges a little.

"The one and only," you run a hand through your hair in frustration. "I can go by myself it's no big—"

"I'm coming," she says firmly and turns off the griddle. She brings a pancake to her mouth and takes a bite before walking off to your room.

"Well…Damn."

You follow her and shut the door behind you. She picks her dress up off the floor and looks at it with a contemplative look.

"I'm not sure if I have anything that will fit you," you say as you walk over to your closet. "But we can look."

Jade comes up behind you and picks through your clothes. She holds up a pair of black leggings, and raises a brow at you.

"Aria's," you say quietly. "I haven't gotten around to throwing out all of her stuff yet."

"Do you think she'll mind?"

"I couldn't give less of a shit," you shrug and pull out a red baseball shirt and a pair of black jeans.

Jade quickly pulls on the tights and inspects herself in the mirror. The tights are a bit long on her, but they otherwise fit. She pulls off the tee you lent her, and pulls out a white button up shirt from your closet. She unbuttons it and slides into it, looking pleased with herself.

You pull on your clothes quickly and jog to the bathroom. You wash up, run a hand through your hair, and return to your room. You grab your shades, wallet, and cellphone off the nightstand. Jade has put on her shoes and was looking at her phone as she perched on the edge of your bed.

"Let's go," you say quietly after pulling on your Nikes.

"Are you ready for this?" she stands up at looks at you with worry.

"If I say yes will you stop worrying?"

"Never," she grins and kisses you quick. You wish you could stay here and do that all day, but happy relationships without drama isn't really your thing.

Unfortunately.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are lying naked on the carpeted floor of your apartment, panting heavily next to your naked girlfriend, Terezi. She lets out a low chuckle, her voice raspy and out-of-breath. She rolls on her side facing you, tracing circles on your chest.

"Ready for another round?" she purrs into your ear.

"Oh fuck I'm raw Terezi, let me be," you gasp out, cupping your penis protectively. "Little Karkat needs some time before your vagina fucking swallows him whole."

She cackles and sits up quickly, sliding over to straddle you. "God dammit Terezi," you groan out and she laughs again, high pitched and grating. It was your favorite sound she made that didn't appear during sex.

"Don't worry," her head bends down so your noses brush. "I know your limit," she kisses your lips softly, a grin creeping up her face. "Let's order out."

"Oh thank god," you sigh out in relief, running a hand through your disheveled hair. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Can I come?"

"Only if you don't jump me," you say, rolling your eyes as she climbs off of you. You sit upright and rub your eyes. Fuck you were tired.

A few minutes later you were in the shower, hot water rolling off your back. You don't know where Terezi is, as she had let you walk into the bathroom in peace. You lather your self up with soap and begin singing along to some shitty song on the radio. The shower curtain suddenly pulls away and Terezi is standing there with a rubber duck and a loofa.

"You're fucking kidding me."

She cackles again and jumps in, pushing you out of the way of the hot water. She pulls the curtain back and grabs her lavender scented body wash off the rack where she keeps it.

"Move the fuck over," you nudge her, battling for the water.

"No, fuck you!" she smacks you with her loofa and body wash flies into your eyes.

"AH FUCK!"

"Oh shit I'm sorry!" her hands are fumbling with the showerhead and she's spraying the hot water into your eyes.

"OW FUCK! YOU'RE BURNING ME—YOU'RE FUCKING BURNING ME!"

"STOP MOVING!"

She drops the showerhead and it clatters against the tub. You rub your burning eyes furiously and Terezi is blowing into them. It just makes it worse.

"STOP FUCKING BLOWING!"

You try to push her away and take a step back, but as you do so your feet slip on that stupid fucking duck. You fall backwards and grope for something. You manage to grab hold of Terezi's boob and she's shrieking for you to let go. You both fall, and your head hits the bathroom tile floor. Terezi lands on top of you and all the air leaves your lungs.

God fucking dammit.

Your name is Dave Strider and you are not looking forward to what's about to happen. You haven't seen Aria in two years. You didn't even know if she was alive or not until twenty minutes ago. You were worried about how you were going to react—you haven't even seen her yet and you were already mad. More hurt than mad, really, but still pretty pissed.

You were driving with Jade to your station, her hand laced tightly with yours. You were both quiet, but you knew a conversation wasn't necessary. You felt terrible bringing her along, dragging her into something she didn't need to be brought into. She seemed all right with it, though, but you were worried about how Aria was going to react.

Fuck her, you think, feeling annoyed. She doesn't rule over your life anymore. She has no say in who you date. She can think or say whatever she wants, but at the end of the day you were leaving with Jade.

You pull into your parking spot and park the car. You remove the keys and let out a long sigh. Jade looks over at you, squeezing your hand confidently.

"I'm sorry," you say, shaking your head. "I'm so sorry for bringing you into this."

"Shut up," Jade says firmly. You turn your head to face her and blink a couple times. "I chose to come, you didn't bring me into anything. I'm here for you, and I won't leave unless you want me to. I don't care about that woman; I care about what she did to you and Rose. I care about you both."

Her eyes are hard, but her voice is soft and confident. You relax and let out a small chuckle. "Okay," you shrug. "Okay. Let's go."

You climb out and head into the back of the station. Jade's hand is warm and small in yours, and you feel better just knowing she's there with you. You enter the nondescript brick building and head down a few hallways towards the drunk tank. Sollux is waiting by the door for you, having arrived before you both. He nods at you and you return it. He holds his key card up to the pad and the door unlocks automatically. He holds it open and you and Jade walk in.

There she is. She sits in a metal chair, looking miserable. Her cerulean blue eyes are puffy and tear stained. Her ivory complexion looks worn and tired. She's obviously been nursing a killer hangover. She's wearing a slinky red dress and her black heels are thrown haphazardly in a corner near the door. She looks up as you enter, and her eyes grow wide and a smile crawls up her face.

"Dave!" she cries and her eyes begin to water. "Oh Davey bring me hoooome!"

You nod to Sollux once more and he leaves, shutting the door behind him. Jade stops beside you, and she and Aria lock eyes. Aria glares at her, a sour expression twisting up her mouth.

"Who's this?" she growls at Jade.

"I'm Jade," Jade replies evenly, head held high. "Nice to meet you."

Aria scoffs and raises an eyebrow at you. "You move on fast."

You shake your head in disbelief. "You left," you glare at her behind your shades. "You left without a word, taking all of my money and you expect me to feel bad about getting a girlfriend? How dare you."

"How dare I?" she stares at you, looking indignant. "Do you even know what I went through these past two years?!"

"A whole lot of men, probably," you shrug.

She takes a moment to compose herself. "I wanted to stay with you—I did-"

"Then why didn't you?" your voice rises slightly above its normal tone, and your jaw contracts when you clench your teeth.

"I couldn't," she admits. "Our marriage—it wasn't working at the time and I needed to get away. You were never home and I never got to see you—"

"You had Rose," you were starting to gain a temper. You didn't want to be here—you didn't want to face this woman ever again. "And you left her wondering why her mother didn't want her anymore. How dare you say you left because of me. We could have gotten divorced without you taking all of my money and leaving Rose—I would go home some nights unsure if I could even feed her! And you expect sympathy from me?"

Tears are rolling down Aria's face. She wipes them away angrily and stares at you with wide eyes. "I'm back now—I can be a better mother. I at least want to try! Give me another chance, please!"

"You are never going near Rose again," you voice is deadly calm. "And if you ever try to contact her again, you will deal with the entire New York police force."

"You can't keep me away from my own daughter!" she's starting to yell, anger flashing wildly in her eyes.

"You made the choice to leave her first. I'm just following through with it," you turn to go and tug Jade along with you. "Let's go. We're done here."

She follows quietly, looking over at Aria over her shoulder once before following you out the door.

"Dave! DAVE!" you can hear Aria screaming your name as you walk away. The door slams behind you with a deafening finality.

Silence.

You are now Jade Harley and you have just left the police station, walking along the gravel towards Dave's parked car. You stop in front of it and turn to face Dave. He is avoiding your gaze, so you drop his hand and cross your arms in front of you.

"Are you going to be okay?"

His throat contracts and he shrugs. "Probably."

"Are you going to tell Rose?"

"No."

"Dirk?"

"Yeah," his voice is a bit raspy and you let out a sigh.

"We don't have to do it now," you say quietly. "If you aren't ready."

"I know," he nods and you step into his arms. He buries his face into your shoulder and his arms are tight around your waist. You hug him back just as tight and kiss his neck.

"Let's go," you say after a moment.

He nods into your hair and you release each other. You enter the car in your respective sides, and he starts the engine. Dave drives away, and you aren't too sure where you're going. You aren't even sure if Dave knows either.

It doesn't bother you.

**A/N: Okay so I finally remembered to put an authors note at the bottom! Sorry I haven't been saying much the past few chapters! Thank you for every single review it's so very appreciated!  
Friendly reminder that you can contact me at my writing-specific (and very homestuck-centric) blog: . **

**Any questions about the fic will be answered and I will gladly write prompts if you're interested in that sort of thing  
(also I will probably post short one-shots about the past of this story there if I ever get around to it, to give you guys some basis on past relationships)**

**Thanks again! 3**


	6. Aspects of Change

FMN 6

Chapter Six: Aspects of Change

You are now some weird sweaty bum entering a ridiculously overpriced public establishment that you do not even particularly enjoy dining at. Well, not really dining, you're kind of stalking someone. Okay, stalking is a bit much. You are just very attracted to a certain barista who is totally not good enough for you, but let's just overlook that fact, shall we?

A few of the other coffee enthusiasts look you up and down, obviously admiring your spiffing new set of shorts you just purchased. One woman looks down at your feet, her eyes trained on your knee high socks and soccer cleats. She must have an eye for fashion! Although she dresses very poorly, but you will let that one go for now. You came here for a reason!

"What can I get for you today?" Feferi, the barista whom you were not hoping for smiles brightly at you, her bubbly personality overwhelming you slightly.

"Just a medium black coffee, the strongest you've got, please," you say as you pull out a debit card.

"Aradia, can you get me a grande Sumatra, please?" Feferi calls over her shoulder.

"Sure thing!"

There she is. Aradia Megido. You aren't too positive as to why you're so attracted to a woman at least ten years younger than you and not even out of school yet, but holy crow was she magnificent! Her hair was long and shiny, and bounced as she walked. Her smile was blinding and her personality was astonishing. You could tell by her appearance that she didn't really care much for herself, and was not very well brought up due to the slight slouching of her shoulders—but she was radiant. She was in your dreams every night, feeding you grapes off the vine and wearing a very revealing dress while she gave you a seductive smile. If only those dreams came true!

"Um, Equius?"

You blink rapidly and look back at Feferi, who was staring at you intently, pointing to the debit machine awkwardly. "Oh, yes! I'm so sorry!"

You push the buttons as gently as you can, praying that you don't accidently press them inside the machine again. Those machines were getting costly to replace!

You take your card back and Aradia slides in beside Feferi at the cash register and hands you your coffee with that smile you love so much. "Enjoy!"

She walks away before you can say anything, and you turn before you can mutter something silly. You can feel heat warming your cheeks, and you take a large sip of your coffee to try to concentrate on something other than Aradia.

"Fiddlesticks!" that was hot!

You are now Jade Harley and you've been driving for maybe an hour at best. Dave is taking turns randomly, sometimes forgetting his blinker, and gripping the steering wheel so tight you're afraid it's going to break. You stare at him, worry clouding your judgment. You know his reckless driving is probably going to result in both of your deaths, but you understand that he needs to get his mind off of what had happened not too long ago.

"Dave."

He doesn't answer, but you notice him grit his teeth. You let out a sigh and shift in your seat to face him. "Dave."

He jumps a curb by accident, and you bounce around in your seat almost hitting your head off the roof. He mutters an apology and you knit your eyebrows together, feeling annoyed.

"Dave you stop this car this instant!"

"No."

"Yes, god dammit! And turn off this shitty music!" you hit the CD power button angrily and the annoying dubstep fades away. "Now stop this fucking car!"

You can see Dave blink rapidly behind his shades, and he sighs and turns into a Wal-Mart parking lot. He parks over two spots and turns off the car. He keeps his head facing forward, but says quietly: "Okay. I've stopped the car."

You face him, and cross your arms angrily. You aren't really angry though, just a little shaken. "You are being a reckless asshole! Will you please just talk to me?"

"I don't know what to say, Jade!" this is the first time he's raised his voice since talking to Aria. And the first time he's ever done it to you. To say the least, you weren't really expecting it.

"Well I can't help if I don't know what you're feeling!"

"Do you really wanna know what I'm feeling?" he turns to look at you, and you wish he wasn't wearing those stupid sunglasses so you could actually get a read on him. "I'm feeling sick! Like I've been punched and kicked repeatedly in the stomach! I feel angry and disappointed and so fucking let down! I am feeling so many fucking things right now it's worse than a twelve-year-old girls diary! And I don't know what to do about it!"

You take a moment to think about how you're going to respond to him, when the question you didn't really want to ask at this time blurts out of your mouth. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," his voice cracks as he says the words, and he collapses on the steering wheel. "I just don't know."

"I understand that you're freaking out right now," you start carefully. "And it's totally justifiable, but I think we should go back to my place right now. It would be a good idea to talk to Dirk and Jake about what just happened. Maybe even call Roxy and let her know. I don't know Aria, but I don't trust her, so the more people who know she's here, the better."

Dave sits upright and runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah," he nods a little breathlessly. "Yeah that's a good idea. If I give you my phone will you text Rox for me?"

You nod and gently place a hand on his bicep. "I'm sorry today didn't go as you'd planned, but I will help any way that I can, okay? I can even bring Rose home with me after school until you know for sure that Aria has left town."

"I don't think it would need to go that far, but I would still appreciate it," he smiles slightly at you and you lean over and kiss him.

"Thanks," he whispers after you've pulled apart.

"No problem," you grin at him and sit back in your seat. You take his outstretched phone, and start scrolling through his contacts.

DAVE: Hey Roxy, it's Jade! I need you to come over to my place at 301 Parkplace st, because Dave and I need to talk you and Dirk about something important. Can you please come?

ROXY: Jadey! Hi! Sure I can do that! What exactly do u and Davey need 2 tell us ;)

DAVE: I…I can't really say over text, it's easier in person. We'll meet you there soon, though!

ROXY: Okie doke. L8er Jades.

DAVE: bye Roxy! :)

Dave begins driving again, more cautious this time. You breathe a quiet sigh of relief as he turns out of the parking lot, using his blinker and not jumping the curb this time. You can tell Dave heard you because a corner of his mouth is quirked up and you blush slightly, feeling bashful.

"I—,"

"If you're going to apologize again, you can stop right now because I don't want to hear it," You say firmly from her seat.

Dave blinks a couple times before chuckling to himself. "Alright, no more apologies."

"Great," your smile is warm and he takes your hand confidently.

It takes about twenty minutes to get back to your gated community, and Roxy is there waiting in her car by the gate, glaring at a guard.

"Jade Harley asked me to come here!" Roxy is yelling to the man, her voice short and snappish. "Do you not know who the fuck Jade Harley is?"

"Madam Harley is not here to confirm you, so I will not let you through."

"MADAM? She's a god damned single mother who owns a flower shop! Shes not the fuckin first lady! Will you get your head out of your ass you pompous douche nozzle!"

"If you're going to speak in those terms, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave before I call the police."

"MY COUSIN IS THE POLICE, NOW LET ME IN."

You sigh in annoyance and exit the car, telling Dave that you'll just be a minute. You walk over to where the conflict is happening, and grimace at the over sized walkie-talkie in the security guards hands. He's muttering into it, but you know it's just for show. The thing hasn't worked for years.

"Hello Charles," you say to the elder man at the gate. He looks over at you, his face visibly brightening at your appearance.

"Madam Harley! Please tell me you do not know this hooligan? She is threatening me, and is very intolerable. Shall I request the police?" He looks over at Roxy with a sour expression.

"No need," you say quickly. "Roxy is actually a friend of mine, and is very welcome in my home. I'm sorry for the trouble, Charles, but she's been having a rough day—her, er, cat just died and it's been hard adjusting."

"I'm sorry for the loss," he doesn't mean it.

"Say that to your wig," you catch Roxy mutter to herself before driving through the now open gate.

You giggle quietly before returning to Dave's car and driving through with him.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, no worries!"

He pulls up to your house and turns off the car. You both pull out and walk up to the front door, which was still open from when Roxy had entered it less than a minute ago. You shut the door and lock it behind you once you and Dave had entered. You both kick off your shoes and walk towards the den, where you car hear John and Rose playing on his Wii.

"Hey guys," Dirk gives you a friendly half-wave. "How was the big night?"

"What big night?!" Roxy looks between you three with an indignant expression. "What happened? Why wasn't I informed?!"

"We went on a date, but that's not why we're here—,"

"You're damn right it's not!" Roxy cuts off Dave, looking outraged. "Why aren't you at your place making babies!"

"Mom says you get babies from the baby store, and she doesn't wanna shop there anymore," John pipes up from the couch a few feet away.

"Doesn't mean she can't browse," Roxy wiggles her eyebrows at you, and you smack your face with your hand and Dave lets out a groan.

"Rox, it's not about that right now—I need to talk to you all in private," Dave's voice is serious, and Roxy drops her shit-eating grin and knits her eyebrows together.

"Let's go to the kitchen," you say quietly before walking over to John and giving him a quick kiss on the head. "Missed you."

He lets out a grunt and you turn away. Dave has walked over to Rose's spot on the couch and ruffles her hair affectionately. Rose asked him where he'd been and he says, "On an adventure, brought you back some boars and shit." She rolls her eyes and turns back to the screen. You and Dave take that as a sign to leave, and exit the den.

You all walk down the long hallway towards the kitchen and you go on the hunt for food. You and Dave hadn't eaten breakfast yet, so you were pretty starving. You pull out a box of Fruit Loops and grab a couple bowls, spoons, and the milk carton. You all take seats around the table and you and Dave start eating your cereal quickly.

"So…" Dirk begins, watching you ravage the colored circles with a slight tinge of disgust in his voice.

"Oh, right," Dave says as he wipes away some milk that dripped down his chin. "I uh…saw Aria today."

The table is silent, except for Jake who asks, "Who's that?" in confusion.

"A huge bitch," Dirk mutters.

"The biggest skank to ever live," Roxy agrees. "Why is she here? Shouldn't she be dead in a ditch somewhere?"

"I don't know why she's here, but she is and she knows I'm here," Dave sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "And I want her away from Rose."

"Well, we know what she looks like," Dirk says, cracking his knuckles. "We'll keep an eye out, don't worry bro."

"What does she look li—"

"Like a huge skank, okay Jakey?"

"…Okay."

"I wanted to tell you in person," Dave begins, playing absently with his spoon. "Because this is serious. I don't, and never will trust her. Let alone be okay with her come within five hundred feet of Rose. I don't even want her knowing Aria is here—got it?"

"Got it," the older trio chimes, although Jake still looked confused.

"So…about that big night," Roxy wiggles her eyebrows again and you concentrate on your cereal, feeling your face warm.

"I'm gonna go call Karkat," you say quickly and stand up from the table. "He's my best friend and he works near the kids school. I can ask him to keep an eye out."

Dave nods and you leave the room.

You are now Karkat Vantas and you woke up from your hour-long nap (okay so you kind of passed out after falling in the bathroom) and try to move from your bed. Something tightens around your wrists and ankles, and when your vision clears from your drowsiness you realize that you had been tied to the posters of your bed.

"HOLY FUCK TEREZI, NOT AGAIN."

You struggle against the ropes when you hear a cackle come from behind your bedroom door. You are too fucking tired for this bullshit. You love having weird and kinky sex but goddamn you were just knocked out for an hour, shouldn't you be in the hospital?

"So I hear you've been a naughty boy, Mr. Vantas," Terezi throws open the door, wearing her police uniform and dangling handcuffs in one hand.

Not even the fuzzy kind. The hard metal kind, because your girlfriend is a huge crazy bitch.

"Why the fuck do you need handcuffs? I'm already tied up!"

Terezi looks back and forth between you and the handcuffs before shrugging, saying: "Maybe they're for me, who knows?"

"What the actual fuck."

Terezi grins widely and saunters over to you, climbing on top of the bed and straddling you. You cringe at her weight, still aching from the fall before. She was a pretty small woman, you'll give her that, but it didn't help that she was on top of you when you hit your head off your toilet.

"You know what happens to naughty boys?" she purrs into your ear, her dark green eyes boring into your brown ones. She had a wicked look on her face and you let out a groan.

"You let them sleep away their troubles. NOW WILL YOU FUCKING UNTIE ME, PLEASE?"

"I'm the one asking the questions here!" she whacks you none too gently with her baton across the chest and you grit your teeth to stop from crying out.

"Holy—fuck—will you STOP," you wheeze out, air leaving your lungs as she hits you again.

"Shut up! Justice is true and you will get yours, bucko!"

"'Bucko' is literally the least sexy name ever," you frown at her and she glares at you before whacking you again. "OW. FUCK OFF."

She leans back, and slowly begins unbuttoning her blue shirt. "Troubled boys get what they deserve!"

"Do you do this to everyone you interrogate? Because I actually feel sorry for them."

She ignores you and whips off her shirt, revealing her sexy black lace bra underneath. "AND THEY DESERVE JUSTICE!"

You roll your eyes and she dives back down on you, kissing your chest and neck and basically slobbering up your whole upper torso. You think it's pretty hot, but damn you're not even sure your brain is working enough to get it up.

Your cell phone starts ringing from the bedside table to your right, and you try to lunge for it, but the ropes hold you back. You let out a loud objectionable noise, but Terezi ignores you and leans over to grab your phone. Her breasts squish into your face, muffling the sounds of your displeasure.

She looks at the screen and her face sours when she sees the caller ID. Terezi doesn't really like most people anyway, so whoever's calling could be anyone you both know.

"Karkat Vantas' phone, girlfriend speaking," she puts an emphasize on girlfriend, and starts inspecting her nails. "You need to speak to Karkat? Well, he's a little tied up at the moment." She winks at you and you roll your eyes. "Urgent you say? Are you sure it can't wait?" she pauses for a moment and you can hear yelling coming from the other end of the phone.

"—GIVE HIM THE FUCKING PHONE, TEREZI," is all you catch before Terezi rolls her eyes and places the phone next to your ear.

"It's Buzz-Kill Jade," Terezi says mildly.

"Jade? Oh my fucking god, please help me," you plead into the phone and lean your head away when Terezi tries to grab for the phone. You buck your hips and she topples to the other side of the bed, a mischievous look growing on her face.

"Karkat? What's wrong?" Jade sounds worried on the other end, although you know she isn't too surprised to hear something like this from you.

"TEREZI IS BATSHIT INSANE, THAT'S WHATS WRONG!"

Terezi chuckles beside you and you attempt to nudge her with your knee.

"Ow shit," you mutter, feeling as if you pulled a muscle. "Anyway, what's so urgent you had to disrupt Karkat Torture Time? Today was starting to be so interesting too. Like, I am LITERALLY tied up right now."

"Ugh," you imagine Jade rolling her eyes right now. "Please do not tell me about your sexcapades."

"Sexcapades," you repeat thoughtfully. "I like it."

"Shut up for a second, will you?" you love it when Jade gets to the end of her rope. She was actually pretty scary sometimes, and seeing people who weren't expecting it was the funniest thing ever. "I need you do keep an eye out for someone for me, okay?"

"Who? Why?" Terezi and you share a look of confusion, and you awkwardly shrug your shoulders.

"This woman named Aria. She's blonde, blue eyed, tall and curvy. Looks perpetually hung over. I need you to make sure she isn't hanging around John's school—and if she is, call me immediately."

You blink rapidly. Jade had never asked you something like this before. She wasn't even this serious sounding when she complained about Eridan. You knew this was different—more important. You knew she wouldn't be asking you this if she was positive no one would get hurt.

"Okay. I promise," you say solemnly and you can hear Jade breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Karkat! Are we still on for our run tomorrow?"

"Oh GOD," you groan and Terezi raises her eyebrows at you. "I don't think I can make it. I'm dead beat right now Jade, and I'm going to try to sleep in. Have fun waking up at the ass-crack of dawn, though."

She giggles. "I will! Later Karkat."

"Adios."

The dial tone sounds when she hangs up, and your turn your head to meet Terezi's gaze. "Will you untie me now, please?"

"But we were having soooooo much fun!" she laughs loudly and climbs atop you again.

"GOD DAMMIT WOMAN WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME BE."

You are now Jade Harley and you have returned to the kitchen, the other four adults looking over to watch you enter. Roxy and Dirk have an amused look on their face while Jake and Dave are staring at you looking mildly taken aback.

"Everything…okay?" Dave asks as you take a seat beside him.

"Yeah, why?" you smile and he shakes his head.

"No reason."

"You've got some killer pipes, girl," Roxy grins and holds up two-thumbs up.

Your face immediately warms and you let out an embarrassed groan. "Did you hear me yell?"

"Yes, and it was awesome," Roxy assures you.

"I think it's time we all headed out," Dirk says as he stands from his chair. "Call me if anything happens, okay?"

"But I just got here!" Roxy groans, and pouts her lips.

"You can crash at my place," Dirk says, gently taking her arm and leading her away. "You, Jake and I can rent a movie or something."

"Oh! Let's rent Ava—"

"No."

Jake frowns at the two blondes who shot down his suggestion, and then beams up at you. "I'll see you later, Jade love!" he gives you a hug and kisses your cheek. "Take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will," you say quietly with a nod.

"Thanks for letting us stay for the night," Dirk says as he and Roxy follow Jake.

"No problem, thanks for watching the kids!"

"Bye Jadey! Text me sometime girl!" Roxy beams at you.

"I will!" you smile back, and watch as they leave out the double front doors. You turn back to Dave, who has removed his sunglasses and was rubbing his tired face. "Are you going to stay a bit longer?"

"If you don't mind," he says with a small shrug.

You walk over to him and kiss him gently on the lips. "Not at all."

"EW MOM!" John hollers from behind you both, standing in the doorway with Rose. She smacks him upside the head and mutters 'idiot' under her breath.

You and Dave let out shaky laughs.

"What's up, guys?" Dave asks.

"We were wondering if we could all watch a movie together," Rose explains, a small smile on her face. "A Disney one!"

You and Dave share an amused look before following the kids into the den. Your faithful dog, Becquerel, is curled up on the ground next to the couch, sleeping peacefully. The kids climb on the couch and lie down on opposite ends of each other. You put on Tarzan and you walk over to where Dave is relaxed in the loveseat. He pulls you down to him, and wraps his arms protectively around you. You feel warm and at ease. Today had been a long, eventful day, but spending this time with Dave and the kids was the perfect way to end it.

(AN: thank you all so much for the lovely reviews! You guys are awesome! Remember you can find me at .com  
3


	7. Memories

FMN 7:

Chapter Seven: dejfjbjsa

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are currently leaning against the chain link wall that divided you from your best friend, Jade Harley. You were at a batting cage, Jade practicing before she went to work and you watching her, doing your best to avoid being cramped up in your small cubicle all day. Office life really wasn't your thing, but the money was all right, you guess.

"I don't understand why you come here almost every day just to hit some balls," you say as you kick a baseball on the ground before you begrudgingly. "Isn't it so mundane?"

"I like mundane," Jade shrugs before swinging at a ball that shot out of the machine a few yards in front of her. "I don't like surprises."

"Yeah, me neither," you mutter. "So what's the news with this Dave guy? You're officially dating? Because I haven't seen anything on Facebook yet."

Jade grins and rolls her eyes. "We're not twelve. Who changes their relationship status on Facebook anymore?"

"Desperate people?" you shrug.

"And I don't know if you want to call anything 'official'. He called me his girlfriend, but he never asked me to be," she hits another ball, face looking apprehensive.

You blink at her in surprise. "Well…what does that mean for you? Is he your boyfriend?"

She shrugs. "I suppose. I'm not really one for putting a label on things, though."

You roll your eyes and turn your back to Jade, the chain link fence digging into your spine as you lean against it. You cross your arms behind your head, and let out a small sigh. "Well, that's your choice. I tend to call Terezi Satan's Mistress, so…I guess everyone's different?"

Jade snorts and you crack a small grin she can't see. "She's not that bad, is she?"

"No," you shrug. "She's worse."

"But you still love her," Jade says it as a statement rather than a question.

"I still love her," you nod. "I was looking at rings yesterday."

You hear Jade's bat clatter to the ground as she shrieks, "No way! Are you going to buy one?"

You shrug again. "I've thought about it. I don't really have the money for it right now. One day, maybe."

"I can lend you money!" Jade has a smile in her voice. "Hell, I'll GIVE it to you—I don't care as long as you're happy!"

You bite your lip and scuff your feet against the pale dirt. "It's okay, really. It's not the right time now. We're both too busy to plan a wedding."

"But you're still considering it," she says as she walks out of the batting cage, putting her aluminum bat in her duffel bag.

"It's crossed my mind a couple of times, but I'm thinking maybe next year or the year after would be better," you press off of the cage and match strides with Jade as you walk towards her car. "We've discussed it, but it's not something either of us are seriously considering at the moment."

"Well, you know I'm totally supportive of whatever decision you make," Jade grins at you, eyes crinkling. "Just as long as you're happy!"

A corner of your mouth quirks and you climb into her SUV, throwing all thoughts of marriage to the back of your mind as she starts the truck. You loved Terezi, and you seriously considered her someone you would want to spend the rest of your life together—but you were still young. Marriage was a big commitment and you didn't want to jump right into something that you didn't have the money for right at this time.

But still, the thought lingered in your head for the rest of the day.

Your name is Dave Strider and you sit in front of your desk, staring blankly at a stack of paperwork you need to fill out while balancing a pen atop your pursed lips. One of your mixes plays softly from your computer speakers and you tap your foot in time with the beat. Sollux Captor sits across you; the sound of pages flipping as he quickly fills out his work.

"Are you actually going to do any work?" he asks, his voice sounding bored as if he wasn't too interested in your response—which you knew he wasn't.

"Maybe," the pen drops from your upper lip and you shrug. "Paperwork isn't really my thing."

"Yeah well we can't all be vigilante cops hunting the streets for criminals, now can we?" Sollux rolls his eyes behind his glasses, turning another page.

"Speak for yourself," you say with a small smirk and pick up your pen again, doodling on a notepad you have to your left.

"Wow, I'm glad you didn't go to school for that," Terezi Pyrope says as she leans over your shoulder and grimaces at your work.

"I'm just doodling," you nudge her away with your shoulder. "Piss off Pyrope."

"That girl looks like a nerd," she grins at you notepad. "Didn't know you had type there, eh Strider?"

You look at your drawing and realize you absently drew a crappy rendition of Jade. You grab the notepad quickly and throw it in a drawer and slam it shut while glaring at Terezi behind your shades. She laughs her weird cackle laugh and pats you on the back before perching on the edge of your desk.

"What do you want?" you ask as you lean back in your chair and cross your arms over your chest indignantly. You try to play it off cool, but you know Terezi can see right through you.

"What are you doing this weekend?" she asks, inspecting her nails.

"I dunno, I haven't made plans with Jade yet." You shrug.

"Come out with Karkat and I," she grins devilishly at you. "I think you're in desperate need of getting drunk."

"What am I supposed to do about Rose? I refuse to go home drunk and have her see," your tone is final and Terezi nods, completely aware of your reasons.

"Ask Dirk to look after her at his place," she says. "He and his boyfriend love hanging out with her right?"

"Yeah…" you shrug, still not convinced.

"Ask Jade and then let me know what your plans are," Terezi says with another shoulder pat before hopping off your desk and walking away.

"Man good luck with that," Sollux grins at you. "Drunk TZ is scary TZ."

"Trust me," you sigh and run a hand through your hair. "I know."

Your name is Jade Harley and you are dropping Karkat off at the large independent newspaper building, Skaia Journalism, which he works at. He is the resident romance specialist, which you find hilarious considering Karkat can barely handle his own romance let alone give advice on others. He grabs his worn leather messenger bag and Starbucks cup and exits your car. He closes the door, but leans into the open window nonchalantly.

"Thanks for the ride," he quirks a corner of his mouth up. Karkat hardly ever smiled in front of you, he was too moody. "I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Bye!" you wave cheerfully at him, and he walks off into the nondescript brick building. You look over to your left at the school, which John attends and see him standing by a window talking to another kid, smiling brightly as he holds up a drawing you can't see.

You smile faintly and pull out of your parking space. You were at ease knowing John was safe and happy, and it made the rest of the day easier. You drove off to work, singing loudly to a pop song that was on the radio, feeling completely at ease.

"Hey," you are now Dave Strider and you are sitting at your desk during your lunch hour, speaking to your girl friend Jade Harley on the phone.

At least you think she's your girlfriend. You haven't made anything official. You spend a lot of time together and make out quite often but you haven't asked her to be your girlfriend. Do grown adults with children even worry about that sort of thing anymore? You just didn't know. You didn't feel much like an adult anyways.

"Hey!" you can hear a smile in her voice and your lips quirk up. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you were busy this weekend," you lean back in your chair, and play with a stress ball absentmindedly.

"Um…I haven't made any plans," you hear a spray bottle spritz in the background. "Why? Do you wanna do something?"

"I was invited out by a friend of mine, sort of like a double date. Are you interested?"

Sollux makes kissy-faces and pretends to swoon at you from across the desks. You flip him off and kick his shin underneath your joined desks. He cries out and mouths colorful swears at you. You grin and turn away.

"Yeah that sounds like fun!" she giggles and you wish you could record the sound and make a mix out of it because it was the most beautiful sound you've heard all day. "I'll ask Jake if he and Dirk can babysit at my place again. You can drop Rose off there for the night."

"Sounds like a plan," you grin softly. "I'll text you the details."

"Okay! Have a good day at work!"

"I will now," you hear Sollux scoff and flip him off again. "You too, Jade."

"Thanks! Bye Dave."

"Later."

You press the END CALL button on your iPhone and stand up from your chair. You walk over to Terezi's office and enter without knocking. She is sitting stock straight at her desk; tapping away on her computer while humming along to some stupid Disney song she has playing on her iPod. She doesn't look up when you walk in which is usual for your relationship. You were both pretty laid back, and considering you've known each for many years this was usual treatment from her.

"So, what did you have in mind for this weekend?" you ask as you lean against her doorframe and cross your arms over your chest.

A slow grin crawls up her sharp face and she leans back in her chair, lacing her fingers in front of her. "Oh, interested now are we?"

"Stop playing games Terezi," you roll your eyes at her, already feeling exasperated from her bullshit.

"Playing games?" she feigns indignation. "Little ol' me?"

You let out a sigh and she laughs. "C'mon, just get to the point, my break is almost over and I haven't even eaten yet."

"Karkat and I are going to a bar," she shrugs blandly. "He's stressed from work, I need a break and I assume you do too," she raises an eyebrow pointedly at you. "Just come out and have fun with us. I want to meet your girl."

You grimace at her last words. "Are you going to be rude to her? You have a tendency of making shitty first impressions."

She laughs off your concern and you begin to worry even more. "I promise to be good," she says with a sly grin. "Cross my heart."

"Oh fuck," you shake your head and exit out of her office, her horrible laugh following you as you go.

"Wow good luck with that," Sollux smirks at you as your grab your cruiser keys off your desk and head for the door.

You don't respond.

Your name is Jake English and you are currently sitting a Starbucks near your house that you share with your younger sister, Jade, as you read over a manuscript that was sent to your by your boss. The plot wasn't particularly interesting and the characters were bland but at least you knew how to help improve the authors writing style. You were the best editor in your building and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to get promoted.

Your phone buzzed next to you and you noticed a few texts from your best friends and boyfriend, as well as your sister. You pick up your phone and slide it unlocked, looking at Jade's text first. Her overuse of smiley emoticons and exclamation marks made you grin, Jade's over-excitement always put you in a good mood.

JADE: hey jake! i was wondering if i could get a favor from you? :)

JAKE: hey jadey! gosh you are just filling up the IOU piggy bank lately, aren't you? whats up?

JADE: :B sorry jake i know ive been asking for a lot lately, but i promise the next time you ask for something i will clear my schedule for you! i wanted to know if you and dirk would be able to watch john and rose at our place this weekend? ill buy you guys dinner and snacks and when the kids go to bed i will condone one drink for each of you!

JAKE: wow you are really pushing the parental boundaries on this one jade! i am surprised at this one! but of course we will watch those little rapscallions for you! ill ask dirk if hes okay with coming over (which im sure he will be). what time do you want us over by?

JADE: thank you so much jake! :D. and dave said around 830 ish? So before then would be great :D.

JAKE: ok well you crazy kids have fun ill go talk to dirk.

JADE: thanks again jake 333

JAKE: no problem love!

You exit out of your conversation with your sister and open up a new one with Dirk. He had already texted you asking how your day was going and how you were liking your new manuscript. You appreciated the fact that he checked up on you and took an interest in the things you incorporated into your life—but it took some time to break Dirk of his bad habit of being too clingy. He used to text you constantly, even repeatedly sending texts or IMS in a row when you were too busy to answer. It all stemmed from his insecurity, you knew that already, but jiminy fucking cricket was it annoying!

DIRK: Hey bro, how're things going with your new manuscript? Is your day going ok?

JAKE: hey man! this manuscript is bloody terrible, but i think i can salvage it! my days been aright, yours?

DIRK: Well I wish you luck with that, although we both know how your knack for taking shitty things and making them seem brand new is remarkable. And my day's been fine, thanks for asking.

JAKE: that came off a little self-depricating, strider! is something troubling you, bro? you can talk to me about these things, you know.

DIRK: I know, don't worry about it. Work's got me pretty stressed lately and I'm just taking it out on myself. Sorry about that man.

JAKE: how does a nice lovely evening at my place with john and rose sound for this weekend? you always tell me how much you love spending time with rose!

DIRK: Yeah I'd like that, but you know we also need some time for ourselves, right? It seems like all we've been doing these days is watching other peoples kids instead of spending time with each other.

JAKE: i know bro, but this is the first time i've seen jade this happy since johnathon died. its important to me that she stays happy!

DIRK: Hey I feel the same way about Dave. He pretends he's fine on his own but I know he misses having a lady around the house-that isn't Rose, I mean. I'm just saying that one of these days we gotta be by ourselves, y'know?

JAKE: trust me, i know. when are you free from work? i have thursday night off!

DIRK: Thursday sounds great. How about we go see that shitty action move you're always talking about?

JAKE: don't even get me started on how un-shitty that movie is! I haven't even seen it but boy howdy does it look spectactular!

DIRK: Yeah ok.

JAKE: fuck you strider.

DIRK: Let's save that for Thursday.

You fail to reply, because you're blushing at your stupid phone too hard. You decide to leave the conversation at that, knowing that Dirk is probably smirking superiorly at his phone screen at this very moment. Flirty douche!

Well, he was your flirty douche so that's all that mattered.

You texted Jade letting her know that the weekend was a-go and she thanked you with a multitude of hearts and smileys and exclamation marks. You'd never seen her this excited and happy in a long time. She was always happy around John but you knew things had been tough for her these past couple years. It was like she was wearing a mask but now she's finally hung it up for good.

You only hoped this lasted.

***  
Your name is Jade Harley and a few days had past since you accepted Dave's invitation to go out with his friends. You weren't really sure what to wear, but you ended up deciding on a knee-length blue sundress and black heels. You apply a bit of makeup and fix your hair in a way that looks effortless-yet-sexy. You grab a black clutch purse and fill it with things you need for the night.

You exit your room and shut the door behind you. You walk down a flight of stairs and then walk down the hall towards the den. John was playing with Bec, pulling on one end of rope while the dog pulled the other with his teeth. When you enter the room both boys drop the rope and John grins up at you while Bec pads over to you and sits in front of you, waiting to be pet.

"Are you excited for tonight?" you ask John with a smile.

He nods rapidly. "Yeah! I love spending time with Rose, uncle Jake and Dirk!"

"Are you sure you'll be okay for the night without me here?" you frown at him, anxiety stabbing at your stomach.

"Yes moommmm," John rolls his eyes dramatically. "I'll be fine! Go have fun and be all grown up and stuff."

You giggle and shake your head. "If you say so. I'll have my cell phone with me just in case."

"Don't trust me with ya kid, eh Jade?" Jake walks over to you, snacking on a banana he got from the kitchen down the hall. "Hurtful."

You roll your eyes at him. "It's not that I don't trust you, it's just a mothers instinct to make sure their child is safe at all times."

"Yeah, yeah," Jake waves you off, faking a wounded expression.

"You're such a baby," John says from where he leans against the back of the suede couch.

"Those sound like fighting words!" Jake lays his banana peel down on a small table near the entrance of the room, and puts his fists up playfully. "Are you asking to duke it out, Johnny Boy? You ready for some fisticuffs?"

John lets out a raucous laugh and dives at his uncle. They wrestle to the ground, Jake being gentle and letting John win. They tumble around on the carpet for several minutes before the doorbell rings and the two break apart with cheerful laughs.

You turn your back to them, grinning, and saunter over to the door. You open it, revealing Dirk, Dave, and Rose Strider standing there with passive expressions on their faces. You step aside and Rose runs in, shouting, "hey miss Harley!" as she darts towards the den.

Dave sighs in exasperation. "Sorry, she's excited to see John."

"It's okay!" you say brightly, meeting his bowing head for a quick kiss. After you part you turn to Dirk. "Thanks for watching the kids while we go out," your face is mildly apologetic. "Here's some money for dinner and snacks and whatever you need. My number is on the fridge along with emergency contacts, and John's epipen is in the drawer closest to the microwave if he comes in contact with any nuts."

Dirk accepts your money with a slight smirk and nods his head as you explain. "Okay, got it. We'll be fine though, go have fun."

"Okay," you sigh out, turning to look at Dave enthusiastically. "Okay—let's go!"

"Are you sure you don't want to show him where the bomb shelter is?" Dave grins at you, a teasing tone in his voice.

"Jake knows where that is," you say blankly.

"What?"

"I'm kidding," you giggle and take his hand. "I'm kidding, let's get going."

"…Okay," he doesn't sound one hundred percent convinced, but he allows you to lead him outside and down the walkway steps towards his car.

Dave opens the passenger door for you, and you slide into your side. The comfortable soft leather seat cushions your bum, as you plop down on the padding very ungracefully. Dave walks around the driver side and smoothly enters his car, keys in hand. He starts the car and takes your hand in his sharing a soft smile with you as he does so.

"Where are we going?" you ask, looking out your window.

"This small bar that my friend and I love to go to. It's called Blackjacks, and it's this total hole-in-the-wall that smells like smoke and nachos."

"You are such a pretentious hipster," you grin, shaking your head in disbelief.

"What?!" his voice sounds hurt. "What makes you say that?"

"You have this thing for places that barely anyone knows about, and you act like you're this cool shade wearing badass when really you're just super pretentious deep down."

"I reject that."

"Whatever."

He nudges you with his elbow and you let out a small laugh. You ride the rest of the way in companionable silence, occasionally squeezing each other's hand or smiling when catching the other staring. Dave almost jumped a curb while staring at you, and you swear you hit him hard enough to leave a bruise on his arm. He just laughed though, and you couldn't help but smile, too.

After you park and Dave helps you out of your side of the car, you walk hand in hand into the bar. The bouncer nods his head at Dave, stepping aside for him to pass with you in tow. You give him a quizzical look and he just shrugs, "I used to come here a lot in college."

You enter the bar and the smell of cigarette smoke; nachos and men's cologne fill your nostrils. You thought Dave had been exaggerating, but he just smirks when you crinkle your nose at him. The bar is dimly lit, with velvet red seats and a few dusty pool tables scattered near the middle. There's a dartboard on one wall, and a few fish trophies on another. A jukebox is playing music in a corner and a few sweaty fat men are hunched over the wooden bar.

Dave leads you over to a booth; the only thing you see at first is ginger hair poking out from the top of the seat and a picture of a pirate ship hanging askew on the wall above. "This was always the booth we went to," Dave explains as you walk over together. "We both liked looking at the picture."

"Jade?"

A familiar voice stops you as you walked towards the booth. Sitting there is your best friend Karkat Vantas, his (crazy) girlfriend Terezi Pyrope beside him. You blink at him and you note Dave looking back and forth between you with confusion written on his face.

"You two know each other?" he asks, raising a platinum brow.

"Yeah, we're best friends," you say with a small tone of surprise in your voice. "I didn't know you two knew each other."

"We don't really," Karkat says. "I see him a few times at the station when I visit Terezi. I didn't know this was the Dave you were seeing."

"I think they look good together," Terezi says with a small purr in her scratchy voice. "Don't you, Karkat?"

"Picture perfect," he mutters moodily into his beer bottle.

Dave slides into the booth across from Terezi, while you mirror Karkat. Terezi looks down at a menu in front of her with a small smug look on your face, and you feel mildly uneasy. You liked Terezi, and you thought she was both intelligent and funny, but there was always something about her that gave you a bad feeling in your stomach. Maybe it was the stories Karkat would tell you that seemed like something out of a bondage porn video that freaked out your super vanilla mind; but maybe it was the way she laughed in a creepy way and always had a smug look on her face.

You still liked her though.

"So…" you try to break the awkward silence. "How did you two meet?" you point your fingers between Terezi and Dave.

"Police academy," Dave said with a small shrug.

"We were in the same year," Terezi says, with a small emphasize on her words. "I tried too hard and Dave acted like he never tried at all—best friends ever since."

"It's been a wild ride," Dave nods his head, voice laced with sarcasm.

"Seven years," Terezi grins and then bites her thumb absently. "I'm in the mood for a burger. What about you, Karkat?" 

"I want onion rings," he leans over her shoulder and stares at the menu. "And a chicken burger."

Dave opens up a menu before him, and you lean into him to look over the options as well. He mentions what his favorites are and what he isn't too fond of. When you end up ordering by the time a chubby waitress in a bustier comes up and asks you what you want, Karkat and Terezi order what they had mentioned while Dave gets a burger and fries and you get a burger and mozzarella sticks. Terezi asks for a pitcher of beer and the lady nods her head and stalks off.

"How did you two meet?" Dave asks, jerking his head between you and Karkat.

"High school, if I remember correctly," you look at Karkat with a look of confusion on your face and he nods.

"Ninth grade. It was a weird time considering the only other social interaction she had was with two men and a dog," Karkat grins faintly.

"And you've been friends ever since?" Dave sounds impressed.

"He was my maid of honor at my wedding," you laugh and Karkat rolls his eyes. "He wore a tux of course, but it was still funny to call him that."

"Shit that's a fancy title. Can't say I'm not jealous," Dave says with a small smirk but you know by the tone of his voice that something is wrong.

Karkat notices too and mutters something under his breath.

You remain silent after that, everyone looking in opposite directions of one another. You were starting to get frustrated. This was supposed to be a fun night! Laughter and jokes were what you expected, not awkward silence and forced smiles!

"Bartender!" you call across the room. An old man wearing a wife beater and rubbing a pint glass with a cloth looks over at you. "A round of shots please!"

"Oh no," Dave murmurs.

A round of shots and a full glass of beer later you were starting to move from buzzed to drunk. Everyone else at the table was able to hold their alcohol a hundred times better than you could, and Karkat was shaking his head at you shoving a glass of water in your face.

"I don't know why you do this to yourself," he says, sounding exasperated. "You know you're the biggest lightweight in all of Manhattan."

"Shh," you shake your head at him. "I am NOT."

"Yeah, you are," Karkat and Dave say flatly.

"Whadda you know? OH FOOD!" when the lady sets the plate down in front of you, you grab your burger, as sloppy and greasy as it is, and begin chopping on it. Dave and Terezi look impressed, albeit slightly grossed out, while Karkat just slaps his face with a groan.

"Fuck me," Karkat does not sound pleased.

"We came here to get drunk, didn't we?" Terezi grins and takes a huge swallow of her beer. "All the power to ya, Jade."

You grin at her, but quickly duck your face down when ketchup and mustard start running down your chin. Karkat hands you a napkin and you mumble a thank you through your full mouth.

"Another round!" Terezi calls to the bartender, who nods his head slowly.

"Oh god, chill out with the shots, TZ," Dave says, looking slightly panicked behind his shades. "Dunno if I'm going to be able to drive home tonight—actually as a cop it's best that I don't at all."

"Nonsense!" Terezi grins manically. "Come over to Karkats place—it's right down the street."

"We don't wanna put you out," you say before stuffing a mozzarella stick into your mouth, the deep-fried cheese sticking to your teeth.

"Nah, it's fine," Karkat shrugs again, picking up an onion ring. "I really don't mind if you stay."

"Thanks man," Dave says to Karkat and they nod at each other.

"Soooo…" Terezi begins, playing with her side of nachos. "Got any embarrassing stories of Karkat to share?"

"Oh please no—she becomes honest to a fault when she's drunk," Karkat says, already 100% done with your drunken bullshit and the night had barely started.

"Really?" Dave looked over at you curiously, a small smirk on his lips.

"Yeah," you nod sullenly. "Sometimes I say things I can't control, like the first time I had sex I faked an orgasm—SHIT," you gasp and cover your mouth with both hands.

"Uh…" Dave choked back a laugh while you hid into your hands.

"Oh god kill me now!" you cry, face red with embarrassment.

Karkat bursts out laughing. "Oh god! I remember you telling me that—it was with that dick Carson or whatever. The dude with weird hair."

"I thought his hair was his best feature," you lament. "But yeah he was terrible."

"Here sweetie," Terezi fills up your pint more, the yellow liquid swishing around in the glass and spilling over the edges.

"That's enough," Dave quickly grabs your glass before you can and pours some of the beer into his own pint.

"Hey!" you cry indignantly. "That's mine!"

"I'm going to need you to at least be able to walk down the street tonight, Jade," he grimaces at you and gives you back your glass. "But wow look at the cop be a buzz kill. Who would have thought?"

"You're funny," you roll your eyes at him and he smirks. "Terezi is the fun one, not you mister!"

"Preach it sister!"

You clink glasses.

"Back to the embarrassing Karkat stories," Terezi prompts, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

"Shut up Jade. Don't you say a fuckin word."

"Once he asked a girl out in high school—"

"Shut UP Jade—"

"And she said no so he wrote a song about her and played it on the guitar while crying."

"Oh holy fucking crows shit," Karkat dramatically smacks his head off the table, while Terezi laughs obnoxiously.

"You—baby!" she gets out between snorts.

"Yeah well you're not so fucking perfect either," Karkat snaps and you grin at him. "Remember that one time you were asked to prom and you had no idea what it was so when you were asked to dress up, instead of dressing fancy you wore a Halloween costume."

"Aww!" Terezi croons. "That's innocent and adorable!"

"SO WAS MY LOVE FOR TRISHA FARQUAD."

"What Halloween costume did you wear?" Dave leans over and asks you quietly.

You blush and bite your lip. "Uh…I wore a cat suit. But like an actual cat—not a leather one piece. Like it was furry and everything."

Dave snorts into his glass and you smack his arm.

"I have embarrassing Dave stories!" Terezi sings and Dave's face turns ashen.

"What."

"Oh yes," she raises her eyebrows. "When we were in police academy together he had this huge problem of sleep walking."

"Oh no," Dave chugs the last of his beer.

"Oh YES," Terezi grins. "He also had this huge problem of sleeping in the nude. And on one epecialllyyyyy cold night he got out of bed and started pounding on others dorms and yelling about something stupid like the color of horses manes or some fucking thing."

"It was the best night of everyone on that floor's lives," Dave says with a confident smirk. 

"Yeah the guys really felt better about themselves afterward."

Dave loses his smirk and mutters something vague under his breath.

"Well I would have loved to see it," you say before your eyes widen to the size of the moon and everyone stares at you, mouths slightly agape. "I-I-I mean for the laughs! Because—well—because it would have been funny, right? Right!"

"Jade stop now before you go too far," Karkat says, pulling your drink away.

"Okay," you agree quietly and eat some more of your food.

The time passes with more stories and more alcohol, though not for you. Everyone quickly warmed up to each other and you were unbelievably happy to see them all get along. Karkat and Dave seemed to grow fonder of each other every hour and you couldn't stop fucking smiling.

It was around 2:30 in the morning when the bar closed and you all called it a night. Dave had managed to get a couple cups of coffee in you before you all headed out. You were thankful for it because you were able to actually walk straight instead of stumbling into inanimate objects. Terezi, however, was completely smashed and had a tendency of running away whenever something caught her eye. Karkat gave up chasing her after ten minutes of trying to catch her and ignored her every time she called for him from some dark alley way.

"Kaaaarkaaaaat!" Terezi sings, sliding around a lamppost like a makeshift stripper.

"Oh god please stop," Karkat shakes his head, looking annoyed.

"Oh but baby!" Terezi dips her head back and lifts her leg, revealing the part between her legs lacking underwear.

Karkats face grew as red as a tomato and he rushed over to her and grabbed her by the waist. "Okay we're done here," and he began dragging her down the street, ignoring her protests and pleas for public sex.

"Holy shit," Dave blinks behind his shades and you burst out laughing.

"Yeah…they're like that even when sober," you grin sheepishly.

"How does he put up with it?"

"He loves her," you shrug and you venture after them, hand in hand.

When you reach the apartment building Karkat lives in, he and Terezi are waiting for you by the door. You enter together and manage to wrestle Terezi into the elevator before she runs towards the stairs and ends up breaking something. Karkat is swearing colorfully and you and Dave share exasperated grins.

By the time you reach Karkats floor, Terezi is passed out against her boyfriend and sleep is starting to take you over as well. You enter Karkats apartment and he mutters a 'good fucking night' before carrying Terezi into his bedroom. You and Dave crash on the pullout couch, a mess of tangled limbs and drunken slurs.

"Good night," he kisses you.

"Night," you smile.

Sleep takes over quickly and you feel completely at ease in Dave's arms. 

Thank you for all your reviews! You guys mean the world to me and really helped with this chapter! I am sooooooo sorry its so late, but I made it longer as a compensation! 3333333


	8. Hidden Agendas

Your name is—shit why would ya be revealing that? Nobody except yourself and your mother know your real name. To those who want or even need something to call ya or remember ya by they just call ya slick. Spades Slick. And you are the best multitalented man for any kind of, ehhh, illegal escapades. You're the best in the biz and there ain't no person foolish enough to try and cross ya. They'd be dead as a doornail if they did.

It was a Saturday night and as usual in your spare time you was out drinking. A glass of scotch in a glass tumbler sat in its own condensation on the hard wood bar top before ya. You watched the ice melt with a bored stare, too lazy to get a coaster or napkin to save the polish. And also fuck the guy who owns this bar, he's been givin ya trouble for too many years now after you had a fling with his dame. She wasn't worth the trouble anyway.

A man approaches you from your left side. He's a tall lanky young lookin thing, a retarded purple streak in his jet-black hair that just itched you the stabby way. He takes a seat next to you, and orders a gin and tonic. You nod your head in acknowledgement to him and he grins lazily at you.

"Hey," he says with an eager soundin voice. "You slick?"

"Depends on who's askin," you sip your scotch. Tastes like shit but at least it gets you warm.

"My name's—"

You hold up a hand. "Stop. Are ya a fuckin amateur or something? No names."

"But you—"

"Are not really Slick," you roll your eyes. "The fuck would I give out my real name? Whatever gives me nickname or some shit kid."

"Uh…" he bites his lip and you contemplate killing him on the spot. "What about, uh, Erin?"

"Sure, whatever floats your boat," you shrug.

"All right, I'm Erin! Nice to meet you,"

"S'pleasure," you don't mean it.

"I was wondering," he lowers his voice even though you're the only two in the bar after the bartender went to take a shit or snort up in the bathroom. "If you could follow a girl around for me? Take pictures, know her schedule, and particularly who she's spending her time with."

You raise a brow. "Why? Worried if ya girl's cheatin?"

"She WAS my girl," he looks sullen. "And I want her back."

"I'd say move on, kid," you finish your drink. "Sounds like she don't want ya."

"I'll pay you anything you want. Cash."

That certainly got your attention. "Anything?"

"Anything man, I'm fucking begging ya," his eyes look watery and your hand reflexively reaches for one of your many knives you stow away on your person.

"Alright," you sigh and lean forward on the bar. "I ask for a thousand an hour, an extra 500 per picture and another thousand for anything I dig up."

"Deal," he holds out a hand. You shake.

"Got a picture of this dame?" you ask.

He grabs his phone out of his jeans pocket and shows you his lock screen. A beautiful dark haired Asian girl with startling green eyes is tending to some flowers.

"Her name is Jade Harley," he says.

"Alright," you shrug.

"How do I reach you?" he asks.

You hand him your card. "Private line, don't call unless it's important."

He pockets it and nods. "Thank you."

You leave without another warning, slapping a fiver on the bar and grabbing your suit jacket and trilby on the way out. The cold night air nips at your cheeks but it's nothing compared to the cold of your heart. When they say 'stone cold killer' they're talking about you.

And you'll do just about anything for money.

Your name is Dave Strider and it is Sunday morning or afternoon you aren't really sure. It's bright and you have a painful hangover but the smell of cooking bacon gives you strength. Jade is curled up next to you, her face buried into your armpit. She groans a little when you shift your body and light seeps into her eyes.

"You awake?" you murmur into her ear.

"No," she groans out, burying her face deeper.

"Then maybe I should kiss you awake?" you suggest coyly and begin planting kisses down the length of her arm. She shivers, though you know it's not from the cold. You kiss her neck and collarbone until she finally reveals her face and you kiss that too.

"God your slobber is all over me," she giggles and wipes her face with the palm of her hand.

"What can I say? I'm a sexy beast of a man. So sexy and so beasty that the sexiest man alive and the beast from Beauty and the Beast combined and had a love child—aka me."

She laughs, covering her mouth while rocking with laughter. She calls you a dork and you kiss her again. Waking up to this every morning would be the most wonderful thing you'd ever experienced, but this morning was enough. It was enough for now because you were a responsible adult and you needed to make sure Rose and John were comfortable with how your relationship was progressing. They seemed to have no issues with it, but neither seemed very outspoken so you wanted to go slow.

"Stop crushing your blow holes together for two fucking seconds and get some grub before I eat it all and shit out the greasy deliciousness that is my bacon," Karkat stands over the pullout couch with a 'Kiss the Chef' apron on and a spatula in one hand.

"Too graphic man," you shake your head. "Too early for this bs."

"Shut your fucking trap and put a shirt on Strider."

He walks away and you shake your head at Jade who just snorts. "How the hell are you two best friends?" you knit your eyebrows together. "You're like sunshine and he's this big grizzly ball of douche fuckery that is just constantly angry and annoying."

"No he's not," Jade seems surprised by your analogy. "He's a great friend, and very loyal and kind. He's just prickly when you first meet him, but under all that he's actually a huge cuddly teddy bear."

"I AM NOT A GOD DAMN CUDDLY TEDDY BEAR. I AM A WARRIOR BRED FROM THE STRONGEST FUCKING MEDIVAL KNIGHTS AND PROBABLE DRAGON SLAYERS THE WORLD HAS EVER WITNESSED."

"Karkat—shut UP," Terezi slowly enters the kitchen, almost bumping into the table in her hangover haze. "Is the food ready yet?"

"Yeah," he flicks off the burners and the bacon continues to sizzle.

"Can't I sleep a bit longer?" Jade mumbles into your chest.

"You can try but I can't guarantee it won't be noisy as fuck," you say to her with a small grin on your face.

She groans and dramatically pulls herself upward. You help her off the pullout couch and together you walk over to Karkats tiny dining table. Plates, cutlery and glasses were helpfully set up and you poured yourself and Jade some water from the jug provided. Terezi passes you a container of extra strength Tylenol and you pop two in your mouth and pass it on to Jade.

"Okay there's blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes," Karkat begins as he sets a large glass tray down on the table filled with pancakes. "Bacon, breakfast sausage, and maple syrup."

"This looks amazing!" Jade gasps and you see her wince from speaking too loudly. "Thank you Karkat."

"You're welcome."

After a few moments of silent eating, Terezi speaks up looking mildly embarrassed. "So…uh, does anyone remember what happened last night?"

You and Karkat exchange looks across the table.

"Nothing particularly exciting," he lies smoothly.

"I only remember sitting down and having a beer," Jade admits sheepishly.

"It was a quiet night," you shove pancake into your mouth.

"Pass the syrup please," Karkat murmurs quietly. You hand it to him and the rest of you continue eating in silence.

After about an hour and a half, Jade and Terezi decided to do the dishes while Karkat took a shower and you called Dirk.

"Hey bro," he answers after the third ring.

"Hey, how're things going?" you ask, sitting back on Karkats couch.

"Good, we didn't really do anything. Watched shitty movies and ate a lot of junk. How was your double-date?"

"Eventful to say the least," you roll your eyes even though he can't see. "Remind me to never let Jade drink again."

"Sounds like you had a lot of fun," he chuckles dryly.

"I did actually," you shrug. "Thanks again for watching the kids. We'll be home soon."

"Okay. See you then bro."

"Later man."

You press the end call button and Jade walks over to you and plops down on the couch next to you. You pull her into your side and she curls against your body, resting her head on your chest. "Everything good with the kids?" she asks with a smile.

"Yeah, Dirk says they watched movies and ate junk," you absently play with her hair. "When should we head back?"

"Soon," Terezi interrupts before Jade can say anything. "I would like to spend alone time with my boyfriend and no offense but I do not want you guys watching us bang,"

"Terezi…" Karkat walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, stopping before his bedroom door across the small hallway. "Will you please be a bit more fucking subtle?"

"That's about as subtle as I get pumpkin," she winks at him.

"Thanks for letting us stay," you pull yourself and Jade up from the couch. "But we'll get going now. I have to get groceries for Rose and I."

"I had fun!" Jade grins widely beside you. "Thanks guys!"

"Anytime," Terezi smiles her wicked smile.

"Text me later, alright?" Karkat calls from the hall and Jade nods to him.

You gather your things and put your shoes on. You and Jade exit the apartment and walk into the elevator pressing the ground floor when you're situated. Jade leans up to kiss your cheek and you smirk at you. Your arms wrap around her waist and you kiss her lips softly. She deepens the kiss, a smile on her lips. Within moments she is pressed up against one of the elevator walls and her hand is in your hair and yours is on her thigh.

The elevator stops and opens and an awkward cough pulls you away. "Oh, sorry!" Jade blushes as you both walk past a shorter man in a black suit, carrying a trilby. He nods and enters the elevator. You look back as you start walking away with Jade and you note that he's staring at her as the doors close. You wrap and arm around her waist protectively and turn away.

"We're going to have to walk back to the bar," you say with a grimace.

"That's fine," Jade smiles at you. "I like walking anyway!"

You grin and start off down the street.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you are sitting hunched over your computer a martini sitting half drunk to your left. Your fingers fly across your keyboard and rapid clicks of your mouse follow. You eyes scan you screen, and to anyone who didn't know you personally, you looked like a fucking badass robot hacker chick.

About seventy-five percent of that statement was actually true.

Your best friend, Jane Crocker, sits on the edge of your bed playing with your numerous cats while eating a slice of cake. She doesn't say anything when you're in your X-Treme Hacker Modez because she knows you wouldn't pay attention to anything she says anyway. You appreciate her silence but feel like an asshole because you invited her over and aren't really spending time with her.

But this was too important. A fellow hacker friend who goes by the name nightshade0301 sent you a lead on a particular Skanky Bitch who you've been tracking for years now. She has never escaped your prying eyes, and she will continue to never be able to. Dave, your sweet, precious, naïve younger cousin has no idea you keep track of this Skanky Whore's whereabouts and you don't plan on telling him either. He'll find out soon enough anyway.

Your fingers start to ache but you ignore it and keep typing. The green coding almost doesn't keep up with the rate of your fingers, but you ignore the slight lag. You speak to nightshade0301 through a private text client you had created together, and they send you particular links matching up with the case you've been working on.

"Holy fuck."

You barely hear yourself whisper it. You stop and stare at your screen, jaw slackening and eyes widening when you finally see it: what the bitch has been up to for the past couple years. Longer, even, but without Dave's knowledge. You type a quick reply to your hacker friend and grab your phone that lay charging on your desk.

"Something wrong, Roxy?" Jane asks from your bed.

"Yeah—," you shake your head and hit your most used speed-dial. "Jane I don't—Dirk?"

"Roxy, what's up," your cousin answers in his usual passive voice.

"Dirky I found it. I found all the fucking proof we need—but we HAVE to keep her away from Dave and Rose. She's too dangerous."

He's quiet and you sit on the edge of your seat. "Okay. I'll make sure that happens," he finally answers.

Tears threaten to fall from your eyes and your throat constricts. "Dirk I can't stress it enough—this chick is a terrible person. She's more dangerous than I can give her credit for."

"Don't worry Rox," his voice is calm. "I promise you nothing bad will happen."

"What about Dave?"

"He's not here yet. We can tell him later."

"I'm scared, Dirk."

"Me too, but there are more important people to look out for than ourselves. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," you breathe out and bite your lip until the dial tone sounds. You put your phone down and look over at Jane. "Jane, this is bad."

She looks at you with determination. "But you can do it Roxy. I just know you can!"

"I'm gonna have to," you slouch back in your chair and stare at your screen in disbelief.

Your name is…well what fun would it be to announce that? None, of course. So nameless you will remain.

You sit alone at a table in a small restaurant in New York City, awaiting the arrival of your boss. He's a cranky bastard and never comes on time, but he's terrifying and bloodthirsty so you say nothing. If you said something he didn't like, you'd be dead before you could blink for the last time.

A waitress delivers the drink you ordered and you smile brightly at her, black painted lips parting revealing your stunningly white teeth. You look over your menu with a quirked brow, choosing between the lobster and a steak. Your boss wouldn't care how expensive your meal is, he has enough money to end world hunger five times over. Not that he would be so generous enough to do so.

"Welcome sir! May I take your coat?" the waitress greets the new customer.

You bring your drink to your mouth and wait while he is led over to your booth.

"How long have you been waiting?" the tall, burly looking man sits across from you, eyes as green as a forest and hair black with a green tint to it. He wears a black suit with red suspenders. "Wait don't answer that, I don't particularly care."

"It's been awhile, English," you smile coyly at him. "Haven't you missed me?"

"I miss the money you owe me," he opens his menu and stares at it. He snaps his fingers in the air and the waitress scurries over. "Scotch."

She leaves without a word.

"How polite," you roll your eyes.

"In this world being polite doesn't get you anywhere," he eyes you over the brim of his menu. "You of all people should know that."

You sigh and take another sip of your drink. "Why did you call me here today?"

"To have lunch with my favorite employee, of course."

You snort. "You were never one to beat around the bush. Cut to the chase, sir."

He folds up his menu and leans on the tabletop. "I want someone dead."

"Just say the name."

"David Strider. He's an officer who brought down one of my boys a few years back. I have a grudge with him."

Your drink almost falls out of your hand. "Sir, I don't think you understand—Dave is—"

"I know exactly who he is to you," he rolls his eyes. "That's why I want you to do it. Otherwise you and anyone important to you are," he pulls a thumb slowly across his neck. "Done for. Got it?"

You nod shakily. "Yes. Understood."

"Good. Now order what you want. My treat."

**thank you for the lovely reviews! You guys are awesome, and im so sorry to the guests who I cant personally reply to because FF is not like AO3 :/. Also to the guest who asked about Eridan…does this answer your question? ;).**

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